Tiring/Cool Process

I'm laughing but
feeling fat youth teacher
with comfortable footwear
discreet, some remnants of
style: bleached socks,
several piercings, a stud-
my new name is
contagious
down the line
Mrs (!)
Turtle
duck duck
turtle
Mrs. Turtle
they call me
my sagging
heat-tech turtleneck
holes in the elbows
under the dress
how much more
discreet can I be
and for how much
longer?
we did just learn
tools for blending/
how slow and steady
wins the race and
I do have new
running shoes
now will I dance
or eat

Angel's Laundromat

dream about walking around downtown Oakland
felt like Beijing
lots of convenience stores w/ elaborate
displays
mirrored towers with
goods for sale on each tier
kinda like the boardwalk game
where you throw hard baseballs
at glasses on rotating displays
movie theaters with mirrored marquees
Broadway had two segments
Regular Broadway and Freek Broadway
which started after an angle in the road
I turned onto Freek Broadway and the waters edge
was right there
the dark bay rising, waves lapping a beautiful beach
sunset moving, I got out my phone to take a pic
the water rushed up to my feet through
the ice plants surprising me
nearly dropped my phone
I talked to someone on the street about
how growing up there it used to be more green
like global warming dried it up




I have a recurring destination in my dreams
it's always a little different but it's
an inn at the end all the beaches in Santa Cruz
there is this old inn, turn of last century look
brick/stone castle looking old timey resort
like the Sutro Baths in SF kind of
one time I went to a store on the ground floor
to buy a greencard? they also sold jeans and undershirts
one time I went to restaurant there, like Italian fancy type
it is a destination I know so well like I lived there
back in time





the way Santa Cruz hugs the curve of the coastline
is kind of like Naples
on the map

A Disability History of the United States

I like when people ask
What time have you got?
Like they’re acknowledging
it’s different for everyone

back pain dance

Stretch your arms straight out
from your shoulder sockets
Out on either side of you
Like an airplane
Make small circles
With your hands
Keeping everything rigid
Strengthening the shoulders in the sockets
Do this for a while
Circling both forwards and backwards

Then
Bend your arms at 90 degree angles
Elbows parallel to the floor
Palms facing front
And rotate your torso and arms
Left
Then right
Swinging back and forth
With your legs staying in place
Feet hip distance apart
Try it while
Moving your elbows to different heights
Above and below

funk wines

raisin with a floral curl
the sexy strip of
red carpet
to the kitchen
my ass feels huge
delivering the flaky
butter bread shes loves
the hefty furniture

is the bowl food safe is
the wall paint safe
poisoned is the lifer
making people eating
feel consume-y safe

to talk spiritual-y
in an interview
or a crit, always
beating around
the burning bush
as if it's not central
as if I have anything
else?
-
 -
  -
qualifiable
to offer

it's just some kind of
Craft, she can tell you
what it's like but mostly
how well it works

exhausted by the casting
I arrange the representative
chunks, the proof
is in the puzzle she can
tell you it pays off
with no need to blend in
to the nighttime restaurant
I can't dress clean
stress, free
the skin on my knees

Here My Love

sadly everything 
is spending money still
everything
both fun and not
so thoroughly embroiled in it
mechanized
a cog in the neighborhood 
in the city in the state 
in the country in the world
remember those children's books,
ZOOM? no words just drawings
zooming out and out and out

in the dark AM driving to work
Friday, soft day
all the dusty rectangular holes 
that were chiseled in the 
road on my commute route
for pipe maintenance? who knows
were filled will soft tar
driving over them finally 
was like a bandaid 
heart balm 
for my emo soul

a perfect curve match

the first days in a new apt
new neighborhood
are absurd like a dream
getting into bed
on the ground, no frame yet
looking up from the floor
at the height of the windows
like, do I live here?
is this allowed?
interfacing with new
faces on the street, like
may I walk here?
is it ok?

everything in our
apt is a color
table cloth - red
bathroom - yellow
yoga mat - green
dishes - blue
glasses - rainbow
brim when I look

the curved walls are
just the right amount of
playful but not intrusive
we keep getting things
for cheap and free
a desk a table
everything fits so
satisfying
the backs of the chairs
are a perfect curve match
with the round table top

the chairs from a front yard in rural PA
on the way back from camping in spring
there were tons of them
standing and laying sideways
in long green grass by a mailbox
pressing the grass down to show
the darker underside of the blades
you know that summer feeling
...I want to lay down in the grass
but we have to get back to town...
'70s saloon looking chairs
laying in the grass like
covered wagon cast offs