Saturday, February 29, 2020

Agency

I’ve been getting stuck in the space between
filling in the blanks

what Celia said about global warming
being the perfect result of, and companion to,
late capitalism
because if there is no off season
business is always on

spots where the sidewalk is stained purple
from jacaranda flowers fallen and crushed
feel them under your sneakers

to be here on the beach
with the local women begging me to buy a necklace
and the white dreads yogis “searching”
and the French Canadians yelling TOSTADA

Thursday, February 27, 2020

A Little Something

mood like the clouds passing
skittish 
heavy like the groceries
light like the song in my ear
worried about paralysis vs.
ability to execute 
want to daydream 
with words and music forever
but the course catalogue
volunteer application 
election Chemistry
Anatomy wind chimes 
seven inch virus 
Mom family art show
tour Dad family 
travel work schedule 
my hero in wonderful clothes
passing me by
clouds moving
I’d like to

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

deep breaths etc 1


doing everything fast except
what I'm being fast for
wasting mania on texting
falling, opening

a whole night's sleep as one piece of the puzzle
one place I've been
one cocoon in chrysalis


spiritual blazer

flirting with alcoholism
like a grown up
spinning my wheels

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

late to jail


woke up every hour still having not made it to jail
my probation was familiar 
like blank paper and color pencils 
looking for a ride there

yeah i was thinking of a metal rail 
screwed in tight with the anchors & everything
we were just awake i guess and 
i saw this rail as the other thing
the other thing that I thought was lost but
its the cake and eating a pocket
cut from my pants

Monday, February 24, 2020


Saturday, February 22, 2020


the time he said
you should always have a secret plan
and
just play dead 
they can’t kill you if you’re already dead
disappearing in his bedroom

















Mom is loose in the desert
with the rabbits coyotes and roadrunners
vision of her driving till she runs out of gas
astral projecting beyond the landscape













General Issue

little mouths floating
saying some shit
more us than me
see it from all sides

let me be your chauffeur 
or a singing nurse
I wanna be dependable
in this small town

counting my friends/blessings
let me be real/sentimental

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

loving vs. needing

a classic q
let it be unconditional
let it be free

find out

waiting by the train station
in the dark car like a private eye
two tall buildings in my view
on one building’s LED screen the time ticks by
- - - - -7:57 pm - - - - - - - - - 7:58 pm - - - -
the other building spells out L O V E
then shows flashing concentric hearts
I feel the way months flatten
not that serious at all

I keep thinking about the
corny prescription from JJ
love is a revolution
an initiation
the only thing worth decorating
yourself and the world with
love needs action
it starves on words alone

Auntie calls flustered about Mom
but expresses zero opinion
I’m missing information
gaps in my ability to understand
loyalty, denial, protection
codependence
or is it just love?
is it just family?
I’m so far away
the outsider

Mom says
Do NOT call my family 
acting like a teenager
going home to her mom
locking herself in the bathroom
yelling till she is horse

Auntie says
You’re welcome!!Spoke with my 
mom this morning and she was calm 
and collected.  She baked a cake and 
was wondering through the garden. 
Mom said she was really angry and 
upset last night. Mom just listen 
and let her vent.

My mom? Your mom?
My family? Your family?
Mom Mom Mom Mom
baking a cake
wondering through the garden

my big rose


Tuesday, February 18, 2020

comprenez-moi

oolong tea plus coconut milk from a can and wildflower honey
sitting at the table in the window
sunbathing

Dornröschen

sleeping drinking dying
dis-articulating the cranium
the only rule is
do it
finally awake
after 400 years
be disciplined even about
indulging your vices
cos tomorrow is yesterday

Monday, February 17, 2020

weekend like


the fam in town for chunks
of stress the yellow lines
dividing the road all day
the lack of words like a
lemon wedge
the conflict
taped shut
the conflict
cracked open
the conflict when I cry

the smog like cereal milk and
mom wants to move here
through the tinted window
she waves with both hands

Sunday, February 16, 2020

also

Mom says she is pregnant
my eyes roll up into infinity
it’s always a son

K.A.D.E.

a decade of the truest friend
I remember when we were 16
sleepwalking

the day we sat on the bridge over the river
we agreed that drawing was being
and you didn’t need a thesis


Saturday, February 15, 2020

generation

forever 21 esque edm in the lyft
feels like eating a graham cracker

Headlines

FT reports on Biden’s Wall St donors
having a “sinking feeling”

my dog’s yellow eyes

I debate catching the bus up to money town
to be with Celery Crunch J Boots Lala
but it’s always the coldest day of the year there

Stanley Cntd.

the windows opposing ours light up at 3am
voices echo in the alley

oh you’re trying to keep your property clean?
you can keep it
you can keep it, I’m going home
I pay rent around the corner 
I’m going home
you can KEEP your property
and have a nice day
you can keep your property clean
have a nice day
as for me I sweep up
you can keep it

Stanley’s voice sounds different at night
deeper, a little screwed up

Friday, February 14, 2020

book town apple coffee




feeling seen and seeing
also seeing through  
and in between, etc
so no facade 
means all facade
uncanny

am I talking about windows
not sure

and then the mysterious way
clouds hang out in the park
stuck in the trees
shocks me
knowing 100% fantasy
is reality  

warm light from tall windows 
some professor’s home study
every square foot of the walls lined with books

god I love 
to be at my desk 

then more people silhouetted in more windows
I think about the Brian De Palma movies I've seen 














some people keep
their egos in their shirt pockets
always just at hand
easy as an apple












the boss sticks his foot
in the tiny trashcan to compact it 
I say
I don’t think you can fit in there 





Thursday, February 13, 2020

Diamond Princess









all the little quarantined cruise ships
circling the globe







jingle jangle
disco blasting
thinking about
driving off the pier

















the movement is beautiful
fuck everyone in our way













Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Letter OG Devil Letter Angel Remix

yikes

full body theme


love in opposing corners
a traffic circle
Nora's fancy earring
pacing around/you’re loving me
eating off the wooden spoon because
I'm grown and the huge
moon tonight

my phone lighting up inside 
the glove compartment while
I'm Inside writing from paint chips
Curiosity, Untamed, Liquid Gold
B actually smelling them for her poem 
like a McDonald's bathroom she says
they all sound like nothing though
my back falling down

out of love?
in the nook w/ the music
to fall in love and stay in it
love/bread medievally basic
fundamentally speaking the crack 
there has me loose seeking a unique 
not-ok, for the in between, she wrote
to all of us and probably the person behind me

Sunday, February 9, 2020

rearrangement



I was holding a piece of paper to my ear
with your name on it
talking into it
wondering how I was going to
delete the evidence of the call

pacing the sidewalk
you're saying all this stuff!
a sun shower
a heist, an earthquake
the shiny people becoming otherwise
saw your smile in a room
my paper was gone &
it wasn't even you

Saturday, February 8, 2020

More Than A Woman

sunset the same colors as
The Ultimate Bee Gees album art

rest then

(1/5) Writing this early. I'm up to
see dawn in Santa Fe. I tried as b

(2/5) est I could. I'm extra tired
now. Not finding understanding,
exc

(4/5) Don't panic, Livia. (i named you).
I'm okay.
Just sad & tir

(3/5) ept in strangers. It's tough
out here.
My phone's losing charge.

(5/5) ed đŸ˜»

northeast

the moon on the roof
falling right into my eye
a diamond that’s piercing

fake sunflowers icy wind
the city is a picnic
its wide open boulevards

Friday, February 7, 2020

Dust Bunny

a bald techno dome
Disney owns the whole shitload now
generic 80s actors
close encounters to the third power

left hand


the whole pretty hand thing

unafraid to put glitter
in the tub tonight
too...bad
to consider why not
bad like you got it
considering appendicitis

woke up laughing though

from all the falling
the debris of an open mouth
silence/ weak with duration


Thursday, February 6, 2020

premonition


a snake slipping out of its skin
I wonder if it feels bad or good

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

David

to be a figment
when I was 15 in his bedroom
disappearing

settings

scavenger hunt
where the prize is
pockets of garbage
plastic cups paper
napkins up stairs down
crates dust
gallons where’s
the switch
eyes stuck on
faucet setting
sky on overcast
body on shiver
sun on set setting
brain on nowhere 
heart on cracked

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

boring

I dream a man cracked his skull in pieces
and had to gather his thoughts in the park

some kind of fucked up spell
by an aspiring cult leader

wake up to the “trouble in Iowa”
the dodo, the mouse, the eaglet, etc.

everyone gets a prize, gives a speech
the vote counting app made by “Shadow Inc.”

Saturday, February 1, 2020

time

Stanley's trail of ripped paper
pasted to the sidewalk by the rain

when the teacher asks us how we feel
on a very physical plane
I don’t

laying down
allow the slight curve in your low back
so a tiny trail of ants could crawl under you

this doing nothing
is who we really are