infrastructure

at the bbq talking about trains
looking at an earwig

pepper's ghost

measuring days by the strip of sunlight
sliding across the balcony

looking forward to the church bells
at noon and then six

how summer melts time down
into one thick blurry memory

hot skull radiating
under the cold shower

I admire our friend
who volunteers at the test site all day

then swims in the schuylkill
smokes and drinks all night

online anatomy class is like a computer game
with satisfying green checkmarks

but I feel faint honestly
just looking at an x-ray of a spiral fracture

being a hologram is not unique
not negative, not positive

we are all that - shifting
reborn constantly

even a tattoo is only
as permanent as a person is

heavy cartoon 2

vivid dreams
of wet flowers
and hamburgers
woke up sick
from the game

scrolling thru for
who's into
soft moods

how hang ups
need company
singing, the hook 
on which everything hangs

the broken heart
in my recents,
easy

forgot a pen
big despair!
big rot
veins of mold
throughout

too open to truth
24/7

the other beach earlier

the birds in a slow v

   a few slow v's

loving the curve of this

the curse of his

long 

long long

sunspot

to be in [it]

love

he put in my head

that I could be 

falling out

a solid, old shell

draw on my legs

with this pen and 

imagine you watching

while I run through everything

how later we say

I was going there all the time

karens

3rd person dream
where many karens
in big dumb sunglasses
are on 5th avenue
looking at their reflections
in shop windows
and screeching
when they find just
floating sunglasses
and track suits
no faces, no bodies
classic vampire style

heavy cartoon 1

the tragedy of love's
specificity 

    addresses: written
    perfectly

I miss him and

knew this valley would come

the view from before, 

playing, high

no cool place for this mood,

the back of a truck

humbled by what clouds

share with fog

and 

by going

room to room

forgetting waiting

just moving

they found this big egg

to study, like they say

in your own backyard

a sort of preconfiguration

to retrieve pleasure from bs

longing from fossils

we haven't even

turned the corner

never look back

losing and finding
my mind
reading about
the brain's tender mother
tree of life
and spider silk
losing and finding
myself stoned like
a cortical homunculus
that must explain
the feeling of very big
very far away
hands you could drive to
Mom said she
rolled her car
concussed
covered in oil
2 broken fingers
a somersault
in San Felipe
her dog jumped out
one of the open windows
and ran until she died
in the desert
crows circling
losing and finding
my mind she says
it's not madness
I was chosen 
for an interesting life
and so were you
I can't actually
feel anything
about it
lost and found
reading about the mountain
that eats men
the first city of capital
Potosi birthplace
of the dollar sign
what if I melt
my silver bracelets
and pour them back
into the earth
I don't know what's
most important
how to hold it all
my "brown" grandma
is the most racist
Mom says now it's 
just adding zeros 
in computers at least 
in the days of silver
and gold you could 
get the old coinage
stamped with the insignia 
of the new regime
I'm not brave
thinking only in
the radical present
because what if
there is no later
fearing a long
empty life or
a death without 
meaning stuck
outside &
in between

song of the summer

when longing
calcifies

silence vs.
learning (in vogue)

the big cloud
from earlier
shattered
in rare patterns

spelling something

ripe
my middle
sliced, I lay back
in the shade

seduced

a certain solidarity

the blue sunrise
the broomstick


but what I thought
we could share
is astray

the windy park
last tuesday

how morning
slips into the sum

to change my mind
I look left, right

with neck and hips

the psoas, the buoy
our song

lying's link
to levitation

not a single solid

reflection-ing

the dip in us
from behind

for now, ahead

the lapping urgency

as a piece of puzzle
the answer,
or
she calls it cake

the mountain that eats men

atoms & evening 2

we humans have an amazing 
ability not only to perceive 
different sensory stimuli but 
also to assemble multiple 
sensory stimuli into a single 
mental picture or idea. for 
example, the sound of a snake
moving through leaves is processed 
in one part of the brain, the sight 
of the moving snake is processed 
by another, the color of the snake 
by another, the feel of the snake’s 
scales by another, and the smell 
of the snake’s musk by yet another

my daughter

she was beautiful and appeared

between may 30 and 31

I was eager to show her off

my life was exactly as is

mundane corners, skin
raging, stuck here

she had blue eyes (?)

for a moment but

mostly, she belonged to no one

she shape shifted 

and I could only 

think of her

at a thrift store 

I bought her tiny doc martens

with bells, for Christmas

shopping for my daughter

just me in my body

I hoped that when she grew up

she would never feel the need

to lie about what I gave her

or did for her

I woke with her around, real

our broken hearts

being our own 

daughters

hold her close

in the streets