wading

Noting the resolution of the prince, the gods suddenly cast a spell on the young women, leaving them in distorted postures and shocking poses. One lay leaning against the side of a window, her slender body bent like a bow, her beautiful necklace dangling. Another, with loose and disorderly hair, lay like the figure of a woman trampled by an elephant. Her ornaments and garments having slipped from her back, her necklace scattered. And another, of great natural beauty and poise, was shamelessly exposed in an immodest position, snoring out loud, with her limbs tossed about. Another, with her ornaments and garlands falling off and garments unfastened, lay unconscious like a corpse, with her eyes fixed and their whites showing. Another with well-developed legs lay as if sprawling in intoxication, exposing what should have been hidden, her mouth gaping wide and slobbering, her gracefulness gone and her body contorted. Seeing this, the prince was disgusted.

dear diary,

******

you are so much smarter than me

you have read so many books

I go to college for Feelings

I am at college

majoring in feelings

quicksand 

the hourglass and 

combos

How to Cash In

and Cop Out

love always,

**

Sisters at Heart

mystery the way of life

like walking down the street and being a girl

there is nothing to say about it

I can’t tell him about it

There is this other world

where I can go

I walk into it like an acorn shell

in this other world

I drive my car on the beach

it's Alameda beach 

my favorite beach 

and it's ok to park there

I have the means and sureness

to get myself to where I want to be

and we always have the time

to do the things we love

you are the only person I could talk to

and write about what we talked about

then know that you’re reading it

literally the only

סבתא

my savta, their ema 

sweet betty

his mama

so sad and true

"it is what it is

what are you gonna do"

sweet israel 

dates and honey

my blood as thick 

and consistent 

as their meals

that's his mama though

that's why I'm here and

now shes being suctioned

somewhere

my little family is dying

and I'm right here

home on my back

honey in my blood

I love my parents because they are both beautiful people and let me do whatever I want

wind chime

thinking sex in shapes

curved like the mirror behind us

the headboard

I have seen this before

but not with the waves

*

no one feels it getting cold

we just like to talk about it

what's it like to be winter in dreamland?

to have weird weather in dreamland

its like waking up happy to awake

with your windows still shut

only opened in a dream

so its hot

no distance from the sun

I am psychic about when I get shocked

like the water fountain above the carpet

with the vacuum cleaning blocking 

my drinking position

shocking

about the weird weather

the second floor is a heavy difference

in temperature

like going room to room

heavy differences

in temperature

maybe I am wise

but chest pains why

wine lips, maybe

*

thinking of sex like shapes

my barefeet on some

cool, damp earth

I fantasize of grounding mysef

in the pale light

losing it all in the hills

with wind like skin

it breaks my heart to throw away a seashell

am i gliding?

a softness in going home

going room

to room

is not so

my shin hurts 

when i think about it "cracking"

i hear the whimpering of the dog 

with the jingling of the keys

"give me a jingle"

it's beginning to feel a lot like california

or like christmas

in mexico

every christmas 

even BC*

i knew you would smell like sunshine

lavender soy scent

mrs. its a clean day

from nj to the pj

mr. i can work out with my eyes closed,

and i want to cover

the sunny side of life

but it breaks my heart to throw away a seashell

"his manners were so exquisite 

that they were like a definition of civilization"

pill hill

I finally saw Jamie in a dream

 He was standing in front of his

dad’s house, poised to leave,

 leaning against a long shiny

black Cadillac

 The house was like a black

and white wedding cake,

 double-decker, balcony

trimmed with lace and white

 lilies, and those strands of

imitation pearls that can be big

 and tiny. His dad was

Bella Lugosi wedding Dracula

 awkwardly seeing him off in a tux

with tails, everything shining

 joke black and white, against joke

green grass and blue sky

 The whole scene

was a wedding funeral, Jamie

 was waiting for his wife

to come downstairs and

 get in the car

I know you’ve been

 a few places

I know

 you’ve been back

from them

 Those places look

joke black in my mind

 They must feel joke black

sometimes. Like an inky

 cartoon spider web

The most perfect and

 frightening. The dark appeal

of a quill, with the sharp

 point

Getting older is just when

 things start getting realer and

closer to home

And one day

 you never come

back

but sissy bliss

 there are all kinds

We liked to chew aspirin

 because of the taste

I’m on the airplane again

 chewing aspirin

United Airlines would

 like to congratulate two

of our passengers

 Mr. and Mrs. Brookes

are celebrating their

50^th wedding anniversary!

inside

she yells as me to look at the moon

and I wonder if there is a dog ring

(it will always feel like a church

in my turtle neck)

and I have always been me

even on slime time

or at thanksgiving

or shabbat at st. john's

I wasn't afraid of anything

but there was a pulsing in my ears

plus tension in my elbows

something still creeping about needles

I know what it would take to be good

to be polished and flowing

but somehow knowing is enough

knowing my veins are soft is enough

Half-Dave's

I did once but grew tired of existing

My sweetheart there

was like a strange orange cat
we were both born in summer

and I feel like a spiral
there's no meat in here anymore

is summer ever actually

as orange as autumn 

or yellow as November

I wish I could remember all the things

I was hearing this weekend

sensing in the air
but I kept just nodding off on his chest

knowing it was ok

Carburetor Vivaldi. Kona my brother

my Cheshire cat 

all spiraling and spiraling

out and back out and back
with moments of great hope

I trust you

I don't know what this means
I'm getting you confused
with someone else
who I confused you with
everyone will hate me soon

for my designated role on the first 

season of This is a Family Disease

A sleepy performance 

…Imma shove it back to

  where it don’t snow

….

then what? HeH?

    Imma shove it back all the way

back to Thanksgiving… heh??

…

I think that correctional officer had an evil twin

  I don’t usually find a girl’s tractive

I look and look

 but it is no where to be found

see red

 

I'm tasting blood in my mouth
 O negative and O positive
New York City does

 look like 1970 today

steamed black and wet

 under red string lights

pennies to Heaven

 in the bar’s mirrored ceiling

I’m hungry but drinking

 I’m sorry but sneaking

I shouldn’t be here

 in 1970

no one should be here

 my sissy so soft

burning it down

 trickle of deep trees

black redwoods

 red red woods

but black

 thank God you went home

I know our blue angel

 was seeing red too

right before he died

we’re all looking for that

 that True Black Meat

sometimes it is

 just truly tasteless

This message contains information that may be confidential and/or privileged

post spa frags

there is something to love about the snow this morning
how it sticks to the trees but not the street
how it is the most exciting thing 
since november began

someone here makes the bathroom and the kitchen
smell the same







"You're beautiful at this, Quin!"
(Wii)








what do i respect?
a vest that matches my socks

2 dollars for the coconut-water-solo-stroll
through cobble hill at midnight
like cinderelly dressed to kill
like a rat on a train
amongst many men
so she wears turtle necks
and boxing brands
but orange socks

ankles are OK
after midnight









devil water tower
like maple shade
some troubled waters
bubble towers

what if i washed my sheets in there
yum
aqua clean

i go through phases when
washing my sheets
is very important to me








it is like what i am trying to say
is coating the archway to a room
coating the ceiling and tops of the walls
what i am thinking in my dreams
coats that archway

pre spa

how come i keep on thinking about montreal
while i write about the studiolo
about what is real and
what is numerically proportionate
and how the very special wood inlay
techniques create light and shadow
but then what about the real light
natural light
through the natural windows?
what is more real:
the darkness of the wood
or the direction of the grain
or the naturally real windows
inside

maybe because montreal is old

and i feel older now that it is 
october again 
and the nights are getting windy
and pumpkins are around
montreal is not like israel 

el al

and the studiolo is extremely 

the oldest
jeruselem too
and my grandma too
but the studiolo