she yells as me to look at the moon
and I wonder if there is a dog ring
(it will always feel like a church
in my turtle neck)
and I have always been me
even on slime time
or at thanksgiving
or shabbat at st. john's
I wasn't afraid of anything
but there was a pulsing in my ears
plus tension in my elbows
something still creeping about needles
I know what it would take to be good
to be polished and flowing
but somehow knowing is enough
knowing my veins are soft is enough
