inside

she yells as me to look at the moon

and I wonder if there is a dog ring

(it will always feel like a church

in my turtle neck)

and I have always been me

even on slime time

or at thanksgiving

or shabbat at st. john's

I wasn't afraid of anything

but there was a pulsing in my ears

plus tension in my elbows

something still creeping about needles

I know what it would take to be good

to be polished and flowing

but somehow knowing is enough

knowing my veins are soft is enough

Half-Dave's

I did once but grew tired of existing

My sweetheart there

was like a strange orange cat
we were both born in summer

and I feel like a spiral
there's no meat in here anymore

is summer ever actually

as orange as autumn 

or yellow as November

I wish I could remember all the things

I was hearing this weekend

sensing in the air
but I kept just nodding off on his chest

knowing it was ok

Carburetor Vivaldi. Kona my brother

my Cheshire cat 

all spiraling and spiraling

out and back out and back
with moments of great hope

I trust you

I don't know what this means
I'm getting you confused
with someone else
who I confused you with
everyone will hate me soon

for my designated role on the first 

season of This is a Family Disease

A sleepy performance 

…Imma shove it back to

  where it don’t snow

….

then what? HeH?

    Imma shove it back all the way

back to Thanksgiving… heh??

…

I think that correctional officer had an evil twin

  I don’t usually find a girl’s tractive

I look and look

 but it is no where to be found

see red

 

I'm tasting blood in my mouth
 O negative and O positive
New York City does

 look like 1970 today

steamed black and wet

 under red string lights

pennies to Heaven

 in the bar’s mirrored ceiling

I’m hungry but drinking

 I’m sorry but sneaking

I shouldn’t be here

 in 1970

no one should be here

 my sissy so soft

burning it down

 trickle of deep trees

black redwoods

 red red woods

but black

 thank God you went home

I know our blue angel

 was seeing red too

right before he died

we’re all looking for that

 that True Black Meat

sometimes it is

 just truly tasteless

This message contains information that may be confidential and/or privileged

post spa frags

there is something to love about the snow this morning
how it sticks to the trees but not the street
how it is the most exciting thing 
since november began

someone here makes the bathroom and the kitchen
smell the same







"You're beautiful at this, Quin!"
(Wii)








what do i respect?
a vest that matches my socks

2 dollars for the coconut-water-solo-stroll
through cobble hill at midnight
like cinderelly dressed to kill
like a rat on a train
amongst many men
so she wears turtle necks
and boxing brands
but orange socks

ankles are OK
after midnight









devil water tower
like maple shade
some troubled waters
bubble towers

what if i washed my sheets in there
yum
aqua clean

i go through phases when
washing my sheets
is very important to me








it is like what i am trying to say
is coating the archway to a room
coating the ceiling and tops of the walls
what i am thinking in my dreams
coats that archway

pre spa

how come i keep on thinking about montreal
while i write about the studiolo
about what is real and
what is numerically proportionate
and how the very special wood inlay
techniques create light and shadow
but then what about the real light
natural light
through the natural windows?
what is more real:
the darkness of the wood
or the direction of the grain
or the naturally real windows
inside

maybe because montreal is old

and i feel older now that it is 
october again 
and the nights are getting windy
and pumpkins are around
montreal is not like israel 

el al

and the studiolo is extremely 

the oldest
jeruselem too
and my grandma too
but the studiolo

blind country

Princess Diplomacy

a junkie couple eating Whoppers

on the train with eyelids falling heavy
rolling their eyes like the Whoppers

Choco brown
Powder pink
wearing nice jewelry
looking clean and smoothed out
like Whoppers rolled over in the mouth

St. Michael tastes metallic

maybe you just aren’t as tannic
in that certain kind of way
simplistic colors

a diner is good for seeing yourself in
there are boys who smell wrong
like an ingrown message

but November is new

necessarily so