the way

going 80 the whole way
it's really fun and important
80% of the way to the Buddhist temple

I love when all trucks have to stop at the scales

ha ha ha

something so sweet about it

banana hands

Have you ever eaten a banana in the dark?

It's like truth or dare
or the dark cubbies at a children's museum
trying to guess what you've touched

I used to have this feeling
when I got home from school

I didn't know whether to pee
or to drink water first

you goin' in or out?

this is similar to my passion
for the way a suitcase looks
packed and clean
wishing I could wear it all at once
so soft and plentiful
so much potential

it's the friction I think
I don't remember how
to define friction
but I know that
my liquid dilemmas
are as real as
our wardrobes
and our vacation days

I could remember how to define it
if I tried really hard
but I think I am doing it
an alternative justice
I actually just remembered

Hands rubbing together 

right quick

Am I with child 
or am I the child?
hair tied up and 
body wrapped up 
in sweaty layers
connecting L to 6 
6 to Grande 
Centralle

(all I ever write about)

Grand Central

Do imperfections 
on the skin indicate 
imperfections in the 
soul? 

buying Wet Wipes to 
use before eating
a bag of beef jerky
and a Snickers 
on the train

all the reds and 
browns on the
packaging of
my 3 items 
and the reds 
and browns 
of our bodies 
when I think about 
pandemics

Wet Wipes kill
99.99% of germs
but can't go near
a virus??

school is for bad kids 
always trying to get away with it 
to steal back my own time
bad for kids

I g2g :(

Field Trip

spy museum

maybe all these footprints are mine

a guy riding his unicycle through a pile of crunchy leaves on the sidewalk

I think to myself

I will live somewhere like this again

is sight seeing in Washington DC the last thing I wanted to do?

does that mean I have already 

done everything else

that I am already done

thinking about it later

bored

peacoats on the playground 

a house with white bricks and a witch

flannel sheets and tootsie rolls?

mainey disney and milk duds?

matching bunk beds and kit-kats?

I never thought I'd see a brown scarf again

watching the woman's hand hold a cigarette 

from behind the big, dirty window

thick like the glasses of a friend

who really can't see

and because they are your friend

you can get close enough

to see just how thick

they really are

what is this feeling?

of morning in a coffee place

with the sun and a song

I don't know

but basically know

is it rare?

or is it me

a sash and rusty scissors

a race-car in the window

a store that gets no business

There are days when I feel like

the crust on my eyes is glowing

and days when I feel like

a fat, inedible pear

cab

a smile
and a yankee hat 

"This is the noisiest bar...

it is a garden beer"

loud voices

I see sunglasses leather jackets

braids

I just braided my hair

"to Baltimore"

janky

ladies with bags telling loud secrets

and looking around making eyes

at me and the lines

everyone ready to board the aircraft

everyone up in arms

flying west 

where the sun is still setting

past the popeyes and the carpet

through the cold, heavy glass 

it's dark

with an orange horizon

bye to fall and to home I didn't go
I don't know 

emo-tional

it's always like you're on the only plane in the sky

no one should do anything strange

even standing instead of sitting

is suspicious

imagining all the little lights below

as one vertical Christmas house

Falleaves

K,

I'm slowly and certainly saying
goodbye to my Casita tan
The air is pointed now and it
Makes me want to run for cover
You might be freaked out by the lack
Of seasons in CA but remember
that the season change here is as
Frightening as it is beautiful
A time for dying
Rolling over (play dead)
So it can't get to you
all september till Spring is Halloween
So we can disguise ourselves against evil

Each night here includes a walk
alone up Boulder Trail and back
down it later
The lamps making movie streaks
in the rain mist
Things falling from the trees all around me
and wet vines reaching down to rain the dew
they've collected
Cracking and hissing
There is always a strong smell of something 
foul or chemical in front of one house 
by the top of Boulder Trail
with a sloping lawn leading up to its entry 
and usually a dry cleaning bag hanging 
behind the glass pane of the front door
I can't help but imagine the
bodies in the basement
Maybe explaining the consistency
of the dry cleaning bag in the door

:0

It's true life is all the
running to the calm
And the blue car
The strain of having
To say goodbye to
Your nene and yr wife
so Many times a week
When it's dark outside
Or early in the morning
To do your different
things you have to do

Like tempo rubato
(stolen time, a signature
with no consistency)
Quickquick slow
&Your Birthday again
again again

<3

BC

we made a mermaid movie
in the Hawaiin Hut
I wrapped a sheet around my legs
to show that I was a mermaid
but also to show
that I was wounded
we were thinking
we'd cut to a shot
of our raw salmon steak
which would be the wound
but we forgot
and ate it

I love you so much nene
I love you so much wife
I wanna stay in the herb garden
forever smelling
pizza and gum
between my untainted fingers
jumping out of the car
and into the water
running to where its calm

this bathing suit makes me feel
like a corrector
blue with white polka dots
ruching and pads and
all smiles and using my
arms in stride
like some lady
who only wears
vintage clothes
that fit her body

I want to go to bed
before 10 pm
before 22
wake up 21
forever

nothing is really
before too long
because
its just going
like running
to the calm
in a one piece
and then jumping
back in
the blue car
you came from

Nuts 4 NUTS

I can never see at night on
Madison Avenue
I'm led by the clouds of NUTS
4 NUTS smoke
Sweet and charred like an
Old car
Antifreeze?
The warmth from the grates
I am always nauseous in Midtown
And I love it
It's always winter there
There's always at least one man
In a fleece vest and stiff
Pants smoking a cigarette
Too fast
His silver glasses and
Cell phone stuck to his face
Gleaming
It's always black outside
With the starry
Sidewalk
I never remember which
Way is north either

never dry or sry

I love a fence with fake grapes made of brass
I love an orange cat with messy fur
I love a secret garden gate and a freshly seeded lawn
I love a mansion in the sun on its knoll
I love a gold mirror in a redwood hallway
I love a boy with purple lips

health cake

so much can go wrong
I don't want to touch anything
I will never pick my nose again
I can still say I don't want to die
it is still dark in my mind
it is still alive
I am still scared of midnight

The Witching Hour Revival
an eclipse, if you will

Did You Know?

"all eclipses are joined together

like pearls on a necklace"

wow it looks like Miami in here
and you have great ideas
why are you baking a cake?
because you are feeling better?
it's a health cake

but I'm so scared
red moon blood moon full moon
wrong turns in my own town
all the streets turn into dead ends
at midnight
am I going to find something
I don't want to find?
I do want to get out of town
but shouldn't we all be
quarantining ourselves
right about now?
and not licking our fingers

crimson & clover

Happy
(this one is gonna be bad.......)






Refrain from writing about
how black October night
through the open van windows
cigarettes in our yellow fingers
with embers like sharp orange
birthstones what sounds like
menthol-green Wagner on
the radio and the red heart
on his white arm makes me
so Happy I could cry...

How now I'm the
siamese Cat of a girl
turnt sSweetest pet
in the world

hot patterns

I am forever losing my favorite shoes
black ol combats, black suede platforms, black church shinys
driving my car like a Ouiji board and b fore I know it
shinys on the 405 northbound
what does this all mean???






when something smells so bad
it almost smells good?
that's garbage...

running by the dump
desperately aligning myself
with the shadows of the telephone wires
today there are two fruit stands
instead of one
I imagine this is for the people
chopping the fruit
not eating it
no nature made relief here
beneath these wires
now I'm looking at a bullet hole
in someone's windshield
the chards sparkling in the sun
this produces a cramp in my leg
thigh
poets do rely on nature made
relief

shut up weirdo

Hi you're on the radio:

I have a pet story...

my eagle was killed

YOUR EAGLE?

no beagle 

When G_d made the world

he took it for a walk like 

a dog

Hi Johnny,

Happy Birthday

you sound congested

you don't sound so good

your sick voice is kinda hot

I had no idea your dad was tall and German

Does he have blonde hair?

I would love to meet your dad one day, Johnny

(201) 209-9368

Tonight's topic is

lies your parents told you

people killing people dying

smh, bye

what do you mean a permanent record?

I was a good girl though

I didn't get bad until now

I wanted to go to a good college


yeah totally
yeah totally
jinx

I got caught discovering myself as a man

I got caught in the act

You're gonna go blind doing that!

Can I at least do it until I need glasses?

Apparently I was a pretty ridiculous child…

Sorry I didn't call last week ladies

Hi you're on the radio:

Oh come on

Hey what's up

stop making that face

or it's gonna stay that way

I'm drunk

I had one of those puppies

I drank it in like a second

Have a good one

we have no calls

lies your parents told you

(201) 209-9368

For October

stealing internet from our neighbors

is theirs slow too

ours is

sorry

the ebola virus has

reached US soil

in Texas of all places

no one thought much of his

fever post Africa

plates with Grace

Japanese style

radish rows

up late

red wine

sewing

ebola

Isis

RIP

ANTM

box spring

hot fall

Oh, October!

sweating and

looking at

punk'ins
at the store

still carve ya

still paint ya
but but
<:^(

what song will I listen to at this red light?

scanning the radio

it's all about what the world seemed like

when you first heard that song

how big it seemed 

how the way you think

makes you friends

but no one thinks like you

all these people on the radio

with their voices about

a certain topic

no one thinks like us

I just don't get it

"people killing people dying

…where is the love?"
I learned the dance to this song
and I still don't get what
my dance teacher was thinking

up late with my crafts is 

a moment to reassure me

that I am not sick

that nothing could ever be wrong with my body

I poke my bellybutton with a needle

I have three pokes left over
a poke in my elbow
awaiting no call
fingers crossed y'all 

pincurl

learning again how to notate 

music, count out the value 
of notes to a measure 
makes me feel suddenly 
like in elementary school 
when we practiced Edelweiss 
on the church side of the school 

the so haunted side

the bathroom was dark wood,

quiet and cold

once someone wrote 

SEX 

on the wall in there

and we all had to write 

SEX

so they could compare the

handwriting

laisse-moi devenir

l'ombre de ton ombre

l'ombre de ton main

l'ombre de ton chien...

shadow of your 

shadow!! shadow 

of your hand!!!

shadow of your 

dog!!