MEGA BED
Monday, September 30, 2024
wwjd
Monday, September 9, 2024
Friday, September 6, 2024
escalanche*
Friday, August 30, 2024
Thursday, August 1, 2024
debt1
making a budget in my dream finally,
unconsciously, as the hole gets deeper, most of me
can’t fathom money’s realness especially when I spent
the summer looking into his eyes
he shades the lamps with rags
the wet heat irons my shirts
and I do love— this big question
lapping at the edge of the log as in the record of everything
laying beside its vertical line
—even dream of you at your job, reaching for
remote and words like this moving
tbc
Tuesday, July 30, 2024
Friday, July 26, 2024
paglia sexual personae notes
coffee water cookies plum
Tuesday, July 23, 2024
redacted
Friday, July 19, 2024
power play with days
my cake digests backwards or
in shards anxiety shreds
dream also turned fleas a little bit and flu
the semester, dark, feeding the cat early
morning earthquake: school dad subway car
today I went to your frost covered field
in the middle of Example Summer
where days just crumble and it
made me stronger to see stillness
you can’t design another person’s
death or die it either
dream also had hershey kisses
and now it's raining
woke up to stressful logistics but it's raining
looked at the river really quick
sent you files and bought beer
the day crushes me
unending desire for extension
and that’s what summer even is
dreams punctuate with subterranean
temps that flutter into morning
everything manages to get worse and still
I hope to study, consider the 1000 variables
the various planes of consciousness
Thursday, July 18, 2024
Wednesday, July 17, 2024
as is
pick-n-pull
the place of our appointment
Saturday, July 6, 2024
ambivalence 10
i’m really here for the grass between houses
the views of grass between
houses, paint chipped and wrapped in porch
you ask me about my earliest memory it's one of those questions
for which i need an agent, like the word bedroom
to drive my recall otherwise frozen
fanny howe* in july, reading indivisible on and around the 4th
he said I should dj halloween music at the party next weekend
october’s perennial lust plays/disparate yet simultaneous tones
click, or I let them/drive my recall
drive under waning, tepid sun to my friend’s birthday in the woods
my friend who writes, the force of a weather event or miracle…
to seek a miracle in a weather event, to make a brief church in the parking lot
the storm begins, we eat cake and she reads to us from a book that someone loves
i’ve read it too but today i’m the grass between houses
a weather event, a physical attempt to stir the objects of her life—
objects as agents of recall
the markers, the Chagall,
each stair, but collage with
how they felt on my feet
i remember the parking lot where you could pick up a radio frequency that played one boyz II men song over and over
Now the rain is letting up and a soft blue light is sifting through the flannely clouds. Gullies of water gurgle down the canyons and birds sing. I feel dread. The opening up of light and sky, the return of the responsibility that the empty air brings, horrifies me. Since God has abandoned the world, it is time who is left watching over us. Time is the spirit who breathes into the world. When it was raining, water was like an apology.*
Wednesday, July 3, 2024
antifreeze
my glamorous penny
dreamt of kittens the size of pennies
woke up unfamiliar with my body temp, bleeding
take the survey off like a plastic sleeve
open line one like a floorboard
ryan had a kitten dream too
one that fit in his palm which
he recounted with a stretched out hand
Tuesday, July 2, 2024
feel light about changing
Sunday, June 30, 2024
the last hour of the last day of cherries
what happens to your body when the snake is actually a stick?
I feel my life shrinking into a few obsessions,
sleepless on two couches pushed together while
the real snake marks my parameters and
all day I dabble in crossing—
cherry picking with j and s j tells me about apple picking as a kid
with a friend’s parents, he kept asking them
when is this part of my life gonna be over
this reminds me of how he used to make a book with his hands and
cover his face when he didn’t wan’t to talk or felt guilty
s fills her bucket quickly and lays down in the shade
maybe its better to think thematically, let memories
unfurl outward like rays of sun
Friday, June 28, 2024
al oeste
Thursday, June 27, 2024
baby bunny
heart pounding the by the river tracking
sadness losing its thread I just
don’t want to be sad anymore
themes and theses caught on the bars of this situation
like a vine of dead stock flags
a snake swims towards me and I can’t really
see anything the way the day ended for 4 hours
in shades of gold
ember
certified dark sky community
waking up at dawn to pink streaks in the sky
a window full of sky from the couch for my suffering
head noise and lights on
the role of the pink streak
on his last day at the studio, rich made a grandfather clock from cardboard
we had hoagies and took group photos
later at the farm stand there were berries that looked like clear cinderella carriages
then we swam upstream with geese whose strength impressed and disturbed me
their synchronized movements, breaking each other’s wakes
the fallen bridge under fallen trees
trust and varied circumstances are not mutually exclusive
driving back to locktown on the gravel road with a beer I can live
I thought, how every mood is hooked deep in choice
she said they’re called the fence sitters
I will film L shoot her street light with a bb gun
we saw 4 fawns, 3 hamster sized bunnies, fireflies
sheets of rain came in onto the dinner table
he said, maybe the difference is that you like the wind
and I said yes type to me—
Wednesday, June 26, 2024
bluets notes
atrium
taste of soap
Tuesday, June 25, 2024
between days
dream where the arroyo parkway becomes pasadena
mima was there on the back of my bike
dream livia had set up a circle
we were moving fast
dream of un-precious publishing disembodied
rectangle block and white photo of a cloud
dream of wearing something in question
a red sweater but political structure
on my shoulders plus a tattoo of
an upside down iguana chosen
from a group of live reptiles
night (all ages)
one of those memorable nights for micro reasons
for how solitude holds season and ambience
the reggaeton on the soccer field
the spotlights on wind’s gestures
life drags you, and people back to your heart
sometimes we are together on flat planes
or pass through each other like archways
sometimes we contain others in love like the snake wrapped egg
on the park bench I feel beautiful in the way only a summer night,
alone, beauty slides around missing
ty said the world used to speak to him in images and now
on the bench a movie plays through my eyes but i’m in it too
this movie is just life, all possibilities of living weaving my two eyes
the music and wind are the same and i sit in their mesh
the party and wind and music become one painting and i'm in it
the night's edge has narrowed bringing me in
my bench is facing the vanishing point the frame is loose
the world will speak to me until