Tuesday, December 31, 2019


a waste of plastic
to bag up what
I'm over so
I rake it all
against the fence

this morning with
limon lays
the mountains
rat shit and the

the hot roofer
his neck tattoos

I bet you have
the nicest roof
in south central

I wrote out my dream
in big thick marker:

walking briskly to
a more perfect food
& scared someone
along the way

goals, perfection
amidst transition?

unapologize and

a little bit of everything everyday

   boy paws&
dog paws
at 3 am but I'ms
a college
figure who
I can only
by Instagram
 name now
    he gave me
a Super 8
my "work"
 I was

Monday, December 30, 2019

chapter called Church

people say they might Jewish this week
perhaps in solidarity with the stabbed—
negotiating this, the Hanukah 
party, the floorplan of the rabbi’s house

can I start off bouncy though
really easy on the surface
so it’s just like look over here
a fun keychain, a floor routine
ribbons glitter scarves chalk

I am moved by a caption
she's like 
I'm adding to the pile 
but wishing the kids could just 
be free
basically saying a moving
train but even that is
going somewhere

I won’t forget the train
from Paris to Berlin
I won’t forget how it
rehydrated Hebrew School
dropped fear back off
in my cave 

at the house I’m out 
of hammer and nails so
I sit still, I eat kind of
not to read but to know 
better the bible I get
mass selfies from my top
2 literally from mother 
and Mary

I turn it on and I can’t think 
I turn it off and I’m scared
to be alone without the music
that fills me with inspo but also
stops me like a drawn bath

they sing this song 
fill my cup, lord!
and then
the choir does the wine
pouring motion or
blood pouring

I can imagine you 
shutting my dusty zine
as if a heavy book with
fear on the church chapter

but grow up 
god is back
and pile theory
are some other
title options 


make a wish, make a joke

C and the W

the man in office
is a big distraction
I don't waste any breath on but
for 30 seconds I want to acknowledge
my deep disgust when he says “witch hunt” 
to decry any accusation
tell it to all the women 
that wasn’t a fluke
it never ended
he will always be the hunter
he has never known 
what it is to be hunted  

Sunday, December 29, 2019

ancient drunk or

from a padiddle
(I didn't know
this term
it means a
car with one
burnt out)
in the middle
of 95 south
at night

Friday, December 27, 2019

Parra Sonnet 1

I would prefer to die ahead of you
an interesting mess behind me something
like shouting just hang up, hang up and thrive
paranoid sitting next to your pencils

the trash can courtesy of a phony
pen-name considering where you’ve bounced to 
my poem on the coast on a wall on
1950’s Facebook, considering

the family that I am pre grieving
the mountain I came down with lord knowing
an amount of time handing off justice
or sitting on a fruit scale and thinking

about the pit of your lie and actually
I would prefer that you be first to die


eating seaweed snacks
with lipstick on at Penn station
green dust in the corners

Nothing Bundt Cakes 2

he got me a job at McDonald's
it was at the end of my grandma’s street 
in Santa Cruz 
it was the middle of the night but I walked over 
and made a Shirley Temple per someone’s order
using the many plastic packets provided 
which dosed out the grenadine and soda 
mixing the drink outside in the parking lot 
a cop sitting in his car behind tinted windows
listening to his dispatch radio 


to reclaim the idea that 
nothing is possible
that is poetry 
I baked a cake shaped like 
the queen of England’s crown
a duvet of jade colored marzipan spread
edges piped with edible metallic pearls  
it tasted like 
looking through the window of a moving train 
the sun rising over a frozen field
truly I baked a cake 
entirely out of 

the almost sleep
feeling of having
really big
far away
body parts 
that you might 
drive to

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

I’m Talking

the city vs the country 
vs the Amazon
East Coast vs West Coast
vs Milan, Italy
people in the Amazon
who hold your hand
and look into your eyes
to understand who you are
children who can’t learn 
because they only engage with
screens as babies
missing sensory information
and synapses
no real social skills
looking into the phone
the 17 sustainable development goals
we’re signed into agreement in 2015
but none are in effect
if they just did number 5
gender equality
how much would change 
it’s all about economics 
there is enough
it needs to be redistributed
...in some ways...
but consumers are demanding
the electric car
capitalism is taking care of it 
I don’t want to talk about it
it’s unpleasant
not today
I just see his orange face in my mind
... diapers
the further I advanced in archeology
the fewer women there were around me
particularly on expeditions
I looked up and I was alone
this can’t be right 
there are so many women

Tuesday, December 24, 2019


babysitting at the weed 
I mean I went to the parking
lot is full at the store with
the babies in the shopping
cart in the rain and I went
to the weed store after
sativa is the mind right?
hemp papers cuz she
a hippie alone in my car
in the rain in LA agua
puddle agua dew 
agua sandbox agua
pink hangover tide 
me over with 7% thc 
until the movies until
god removes my
blocks in the closet

Monday, December 23, 2019

molto smart, such physician

we love to play
with our food and our words

the silver placemats
silver = argento

feeling medieval
with mi vino goblet 

tutti argento, snail tools
me and Coqui, devils 

Papa, quiet

I wonder if he is writing too

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Saturday, December 21, 2019


of course bleeding
like paw prints
in the toilet
dark iodine

there are so many types of shop
thick shining windows
hanging perfume

loosen up
in every language
become my mother
loud, stubborn

go work a real job 
then get back to me
good, glad he doesn’t
think what I do is real

stirring clams into pasta
their shells sound like rain
I giggle uncontrollably
devil horns

Twist 3

dtf who I wish I was
when you see me
it’s always the pants
an opaque leg
a departure from
the truth of my
body that gets me

meanwhile I was 
very prepared
for the climate protest
in which you had leadership
I thought I was waiting out
practice, the scaling
of the wall alongside
the mock freeway

suddenly I was alone

twist 1 is that I wasn’t
thinking outside the box
concerning my definition
of practice

twist 2 is no one does
think around
all the furniture
and traditions
the invisible fence
on the lawn of brain

all the groups like
rice patties 

all the crusty strangers
of adjacent scenes 

where? without me
I'm stuck but here
to wring poems 
for clean cloth

spread out

to blow seeds

group's origin 
in crop

Liminal Ladies

doused in the white fluorescence of the airport
I can see just how dirty all of my clothing is
how wintered and spotted my face
ragged and static my hair 

I daydream a very wealthy lady
who lives in the air always
only touching down for fuel and food
swaddled in white noise, cloud views 

painting her nails glossy red
watching The Big Sleep on tv
biggest bubbles in her champagne 
endless pasta alfredo

so I skip the automatic dryer
using my damp hands to pull
lint and dog hair 
from my sweater 

to be liminal forever, the ultimate luxury
I love this lonely lady
I see her in a white unitard, leg warmers
and camel colored cashmere

I stretch at the gate
clasp my hands behind my back
drop my head and roll it from shoulder to shoulder
lift each foot to stretch each hamstring

try to embody my lonely lady
I hope everyone thinks I’m Italian
or a ballerina
or an Italian ballerina

I align all eight of the silver hoops in my ears
adjust the bun at the nape of my neck
make sure my silver bracelets 
are glinting and exposed

touch everything in my “personal item”
apply the balm and the salve
take out the b&w checkered scarf
lovingly fold, reinsert

I buy a toothbrush and toothpaste
recycle the cardboard, trash the plastic 
make a plan to stay in the tiny bathroom 
and pamper myself, for a very long time

Friday, December 20, 2019

rose city

what you forgot
in my dark room
that’s what 
she said
awesome <3

I’m driving again
shrinking & 
the mountains

there   they   are

circling the rose parade
towards oh happy days
baby blue nails 
and wooden
I should
rock more

ring a ling a ling ding dong ding

we love our bread
we love our butter
but most of all
we love each other

Wednesday, December 18, 2019


I can see my future
it's posted on the bulletin board
in the kitchen at the restaurant

I can see my future
it's in a spreadsheet
I received via email

I can see my future
it's the time it takes
on public transit
counting backwards
from an hour before my flight

at the same time a feeling
of being on a conveyor belt
into the past

transferring from work to bus
to train to plane
to a place where
nothing is possible

note to self
never turn 26 again
I tilt my head back
to keep the tears in my eyes

Tuesday, December 17, 2019



Monday, December 16, 2019

woke up: where am I (home 2)

Cucumber feels huge
compared to Skittles
ami takes her outside
to chew on bamboo
in snowboard

mismatch furniture
or get new shit?
can never gage
improvement's worth
my farmhouse
mess my piano
stand, hello

piece a

rubbery today
and coughing
color blocking
in my own

Sunday, December 15, 2019

soda and bitters

frosted glass jar
swirl to mix
the sound 
of the cubes 
is just like
horse hooves 
on cobblestones
slow motion
orange drops 
dissipate ombre
I cut a persimmon
into 8 perfect pieces
put it on a pink glass
tea saucer
and eat it in bed
reading Caliban
and the Witch
by headlamp

Illness As Metaphor


i could wear a sunset

walking day
a mist level
that slowly
soaks every
part of me
silk scarf
soft white
padding wet
the sunset
over the dome
look right
into it sweet

Be A Body

eyes pop open 6am
stomach woosh
pregnancy dream
moon pull
iud perforation
to be a body
in the workplace
heart palpitations
rattle lungs
back pain
it's Friday Night
thirteenth no less
8 bottles of wine
for 8 people
downed plus
chartreuse so much
room for liquid
once I get
melting candle wax
onto my palm
love the hot

Friday, December 13, 2019

my sparkling world

dining in? 
table for two?
anywhere you like

the menu 
at the edge
of the table

the way 
is a code 

we leave
their water glasses

she doesn't really
want to know
what we do when we leave

we're fine they say
then comes abruptly
the gesture for the check
I'm writing / poet 
oh ok so
do not disturb?

when the babies
blink up
the syrup bells

Some Pile Theory 0098227


dreamed of an egg with a spine 
unsurprised at anything

the subletter’s lover
every night
at the only window
with a breeze

in protest 
I jerked off to revolution
to anything sharp

to dream logic adding up

caught onshore between
some fucking dude and
a shark sighting

I’m a puddle

wearing my eyeballs as earrings
being mad at gravity 
you said a cool thing about a puddle

jerking off
to contrast 
to harvesting ecstasy
from nothing

my marinated brain 
when we text about


the coiled weight 
the walls 

gray with
what still hangs around 

my podium, god
the pile
the ruin

laying it all down
the phone
the shield

the sword

Thursday, December 12, 2019

room for the life

Fade Plan

I review the 
Fade Plan
late into the night
for my first visit

the goal is to
make yourself 

driving in the majesty 
of sunrise
I think I can see
the curve of the earth better 
in winter light 

a bronze cowboy 
struggling out of 
the brick wall
of the municipal building 
with his bronze horse
pained expression

it’s weird to put that poster there
a sterile posh interior
on the outside of a
rundown thing

store window reflecting icy
over the peach colored walls
and Christmas tinsel inside 

I recently have seen two 
different funeral homes
that right under where 
their signs say such and such 
they’ve put a giant

faded fruit decals
glistening near a loading dock
gliding in the majesty of 
the city on the map 
the frozen marsh
the trip 
on the clock 

at A.B.’s house  
the clock was so wrong 
I thought it was upside down
he asks me what skills I have
and tells me he met Obama 
at a coffee shop 

when I leave 
driving down the slope of Ridge Ave
in the majesty of sunset
I see out over the edge of the world
the bridge with 
iron flowers painted primary colors
at every joint and junction 

the map of the city
the circle
I lay in the tub
and feel like
I’m looking down at the ceiling
from up on the floor

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

hot topics


ever since the fire
at Ren’s auto body shop
in September

(always in)

but also just

late tues

wishing to confide 
in someone who 
doesn't care

surprise anorexic 
guest who brings
her own peas

sick like motion sick 
but distance

the bandaid 
of distance
i break a glass

Tuesday, December 10, 2019


New Girl

seed pod
for a tree?
silver white
like hair
clown car
of seeds
floating out
into the air
silk scarves
from the sleeve
in my black suede
glove hand
imagine typing
as a
guitar solo
French Maid
at the cafe
for the
that we are
venn diagram


Sunday, December 8, 2019

saved by?

maybe a song won't change
some people's minds but
this view of the bar where
my mom goes later

meet me at midnight

...don't be late 
on his t-shirt coming down
the cobblestones

acting all rushed on
34th street, stoic
but actually loving
the shitshow
the bells and Mariah

i say to myself oh,
won't you stay?
die a little
and Go
there will be

Saved With(?) Amazing Grace
the mimes at church
in jeans and t-shirts
maybe a song won't
change some people's minds
SWAGS' painted face
the baby in the balcony

the man in the choir
that my grandma loved
his face
so sunken
he seems barely alive
someone said he won't
eat anymore but he's
singing a solo, got
everyone going

ever see the button on your shirt
move with your heartbeat?


i am the restaurant and the restaurant is me part 1,000,000

muttering while gliding
through the restaurant
back to work
says boss, like a mad dad
his stale breath
a very unbecoming harmony
to the scold
berated for not calling the delivery driver on time
for the catering order i wasn't told about
dad leaves no choice
but for us to rebel
security cameras in every corner
we've halfway installed
in our own heads
but goof off anyways
come in on my day off
to pick up a sandwich
no food in my own fridge
or servitude?

Every Prank Is A Blessing

South Philly Italian restaurant
60-something hostess with hair
fried by years of dying and fluffing
jersey snakeskin blouse billowing
as she clicks around the dining room
eyes held in place by black eyeliner
serene drooping smile
loudly giving the shy server shit
for setting a table wrong
you never get anything right
the door at the end of the dining room
with a stained glass window
reading Gianna’s Room
emerald ribbons
powder puff flowers
victorian debutant saloon
style stained glass
waiters go in and out
the sliding door reveals for a moment
the private party
young versions of the hostess
adjusting their skirts
sometimes makeup is magic
and sometimes makeup
is just makeup

Friday, December 6, 2019

Firm & Sweet

thank you
for more
yoga wisdom
he reminds us to
be firm and sweet

Ben says
there is no 
talking cure
for abject poverty
he wants to have
a private practice
and help who he can

discussion of
couple in full shiny
bdsm leather gear
mom crawling, on a leash
held by dad
dad, pushing a stroller
toddler in stroller

Stanley our guy
who pays for the coffee later
and works endlessly on his
handwritten calendar
because he doesn't
trust any old calendar
you could buy at the store

he yells across the room to ask
what's your name again?
when I tell him he says
oh ok, ok
did I tell you
Kayla and I are 
having 10 kids?

I clarify that's how many
you have now?
no no he says we're in 
the process though
do you think that's too many?
I tell him I don't think
I could handle that
and mix sugar and cream
into his coffee for him

i gotta find peace of mind

head against the wall
type spirals not
a cute roommate
to mom
i let her cat
bite me

it's not in the computer

it's in the back
& i miss it even
when i'm there

100% concrete block

to reflect later on it's
embedded gems

leave time alone!
and the months
in between

woke with sick
awareness of organs

her beautiful face
at late dinner

i'm undone because

Wednesday, December 4, 2019


don’t I understand anything

temporalis (part 1)

our holding hands
cropped at the rink I mean
that's it

who am i today
except for the times
walking my granda
over the ice

down the hall
you're descending
                            it's sunny 

your head 
on the window
                       and snowy at once 

call me           ?

all these weird things

the newspaper framed
in her necklace 

fuck this bedroom 
for harvesting

Soup to Nuts

that's all

"unconscionable" tbt

I know the root is
"conscience" but the
way it's pronounced, I think
"conch" like there is
no seashell, the seashell
of the mind, roaring white noise
in an empty chamber
what can't you conch?
the seashell of the mind
empty, floating

sit on the bench by where
the trollies turn around
someone cracks open a beer
also alone, I don't want
to be a spy anymore
the privilege of observing
the words stuck in my mind
sometimes when I'm sitting still
with my eyes closed I can slice
through my empty body
like air, I imagine it so easy
a butterknife zig zagging
from the top of my head
to the bottom of my feet

walking through the city at night
"University City", "West"
Cowboy and I become
invisible, again the spy
the Penn student in his living
room in a dress shirt
holding a candelabra?
the uneven bricks of
the sidewalk, so many bricks
like people on this planet
I had a thought about them
warping, waving into
rolling hills over tree roots

sometimes my eyes zoom out
and see the trees lining a street
from an omnipotent perspective
and I see how gravity
and wind have acted on them
and I see just how alive they are and
ready to take over or fall over
how silly to plant them surrounded
by sidewalk

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Identity to Go

getting emails from nobody
about my fingerprinting appointment
in the “Pennovation” building
I’m told to walk in what feels
like a spiral of hallways
past the “Ghost Robotics Lab”
just one tired fingerprinter
in a tiny cubicle at the end of a hallway
he says he’s been doing this for years


snowed in and
can't comprehend
any bit of the book
this 5 am
the shadeless lamp
already reading
about body damage
but make plans
in the dark
for a bagel

i'm 13 again
the blinds always drawn

the heater was
my dad coming home
so many times 

i watched
the sunset but also
the whole day before 
and the whole night after

Monday, December 2, 2019

heaven is other people

will a child find me 
by a stream
   my eyes feel like
they're gonna bleed
    my petals
 weave me 
   through a dream
    on my own 
here I go

(it's a mash up of "les fleurs"
and "brain stew")

budget the day
drug test at LabCorp
just popping out to
use a public restroom

the Pee Tech's hair
matches her lipstick
scrubs also

computer for work
computer for fun
clean house time
to do list vs
dream task

the Christmas toy I found on the street
next to me in it's box reading
beckons me to assemble

how the fuck is it 4pm
scream boat

Sunday, December 1, 2019


how the teacher says
i'll wait 

the manifesto
a splitting headache

walk by the library

the vein under his
eye when he's

frozen cocktail
of fuel and winter

the avenue
would never 
be what it was 

dd (dear diary)

at the party I think
all I do is want
to get some laughs
to get to the meat
to love and be loved
tell myself tomorrow
I will stop wanting so much
will contain myself

tiny proportionate port glasses
a plastic folding table for the booze
spread of fancy digestifs and aperitifs
this one smells like olives
and tastes like Christmas
they bought a former Catholic girls' school
multicolored pastel candy linoleum floor
dressed in a layer of sawdust
powdered sugar
they found an old invitation
to the school halloween party
typewritten inside the outline
of a witch on a broom
crumbly paper
pinned to wall

zoom out my friends can afford this?
cigarettes inside

I make a documentary in my head
interviewing everyone at the party

Lucia tells me courting the rich people
for fundraising is fine
you just have to know their interests
make them feel cool

Nargiz says she thinks the revolution
is women being easier on themselves
and having confidence in their own minds

I ask Wai Ji what her dream job is
she doesn't know but after school she decided
being an artist wasn't something
she could do
figuring out what her narrative was
and making work about it
in that way

talks about her tech job
    my teams
the new owners 
  wanted us
   to grow revenue 
by 10% that made 
me very angry
  I told them look
that should be 
a company goal

in my dream I know he's around
     in "The Bay" where I'm from
I drive by Lake Merritt as
    the sun is glinting sideways
into the steamy windows of
 my car, brown leather
it's an old Volkswagen or something
         I hear him reciting a poem
from far away, but for me
  like I'm in two places at once
sun just starting to tilt, Fairy Land sign
I light two lavender colored candles
   holding them in my left hand
against the steering wheel
     lighter in my right
wobbling wheel
   to help him find me
  white yellow candle flame against
    beams in the windows
glinting off the lake

Saturday, November 30, 2019

highlighting 2

...what happens to the birds
in strong winds like these?
i saw them fly fast from a tree
really fast
the warm (hot) winds today
have blown my sourness
into another place
replaced it with a witchy pleasure
some kind of permission
i wouldn't be surprised
to find an unidentifiable animal
licking its hands in my room
i have already removed a spider
from the shower that curled
into the cup until freed
into the pile of lumber
outside the bathroom window

a meanness in the drama of
the fast, dappled light
i just feel motion


...my 27th birthday is on tuesday
and tonight i'm fantasizing
about the afterlife
a dark church with candles
and torches
where your body is whatever
you want (clay!)

thinking of Anne

the spiral staircase
the inflatable classroom
my apple product
fixedness or think
fixed against my will
fixed against my
wild potential for
change or inevitable
my height fixed
against the answers
on the top shelf
this to me is
to me is time
somewhere before
time's pores

Meanwhile in Russia

Nargiz says to get on the subway
you have to ride an escalator so many stories down
into the earth
and she noticed
there are no advertisements anymore
lining the walls on the way down
closer and closer
to the earth’s core
because of the new campaign for
community health
and cigarettes aren’t displayed for sale
they are in a metal cabinet with a big heavy door
you can’t impulse buy them
you have to ask a clerk for a key and
open the heavy door

Thursday, November 28, 2019

I’m Going Through Changes

mirrors everywhere
in the Ethiopian restaurant/bar
dim blue haze light
sleepy hookah and top 40 rap in the back
karaoke and hipsters in the front

against a mirrored wall
we talk about the “Green New Deal
is not your friend” idea
half-measures towards dismantling
a system where the US holds the keys
to all kingdoms
Vera from Mexico
brings up an article she read about
an experimental clinic trading healthcare for art
I ask
how would the world over change 
if the US valued music and art
as much as business and military
her cheeks get hot, tone changes
everything the US exports is Fascism
pop music for a profit...withholding medical patents
...my classmates have oil paint but I have a stack of magazines
so I make collages... the US calls the shots for the world 
there is no sense of value in just existing
my brain is too drunk, I agree
I cry a tear for the confusion
she misunderstood my use of the word value?
the rage that I feel and am lumped into
I ask what she’s doing in the states
wasting my life and enjoying my time
I say good, excellent
I hope we’re not fighting cos I agree
are we the same or
noses getting redder
smoking in the cold backyard

L’s brother makes maps
one shows that the places that consume
the most energy and resources per person
have the most militarized borders
protecting that fortress of cushiness
a short term security
for the fucking of the future

how much worse does it have to get
“Science of Revolution”

radicalized middle class millenials

hiding in the massage chair
upstairs room everyone calls
the green room, minty walls
laundry everywhere
big tv with NFL on mute
reading poetry in the massage chair
if I indulge in the chair for too long
will it tenderize me?
there’s a Costco jamón downstairs
after you’re done slicing
you’re supposed to lay the thick strips of fat
back on top of where you sliced to seal it up
the refs are the best part of sports
the stadium falls silent
spot light on the black and white striped shirt
everyone pays respect
to the secret code language
as he announces the call

Focus Travel Inc.

NYC Chinatown is the best painting
how are you gna try to make art when
maybe how are you NOT gna try to make art when

there's the door at 83 Eldridge
faded checkerboard contact paper
two way mirroring like mercury

I reach around for the Mandarin words I know
The Privilege of the Access Class
of spying, of observing
how to observe responsibly

by everything i mean

forging a relationship with
my new cat we sit together
watching the flame flicker
on the attic ceiling
she even makes her eyes
slits while I lean back
on the bed
for the clouds

eyes landing on
migrating birds
you know

when you're a kid
your dad's arms
span the bench like
his gloved hands and
now California alone

i say its nice out when shits
canceled or
the balloons are horizontal
is not everything clearly
solemn, the pedestal

the sun came out on my last sprint
the first HBCU band to play
ppl say that's great mom says
check your calendars
don't forget the rainbow on that drive
or how the shadows of the blowing leaves
stay on the ground
in the moment of sun
i say it's nice

god is poetry again
for the third time this week
and it's only Thursday

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Tuesday morning

feel inappropriate wearing my brother's sweatpants in the graveyard 
but I’ve been coming here my whole life
the dead-end of my old street 
the blue house with the actual well 

Monday, November 25, 2019

Twitch 1er

when you think of your name so hard
it starts to hop away
or crumble
and you’re left with
a cutout thing 

the top of your head
an untied dog

on the 27th
when everything feels
relatively screwed in
i talk to Livia
under the gray sky

make lunch all day

with the same two fingers
i type something
i'll never learn 
sliding around

like a piano

with the same fingers
the clouds

to be someone's first dog
to be brought home 

Sunday, November 24, 2019


my mind changes like a ball rolling 
a stone picking up dirt
my head the hand or the basket 


I share a birthday with Hemingway and Robin Williams
how annoying is that
not a threat just an emo observation

also the T.Rex album Slider came out on the same day in 1972
and when I'm sad
I sliiiiide

Saturday, November 23, 2019


speculating that the guys in the kitchen are all older
than the owner of the restaurant
and they’re all his dads like
instead of having kids, he has dads

Friday, November 22, 2019

fruits of labor

Do you want to be loved?
We all need to go to egodeath bootcamp

In my mind I ask my new friend questions constantly
Do you think a truly socialist/communist society would be like a colony of ants or bees?
Do we want to be like a colony of ants?
Rigid, indistinct, but elegant, cohesive, cooperative

Think about how we see bees
We admire their lack of ego
Their communal efforts, what they produce and pollinate
Industrial agriculture is killing them and we lament their extinction

People are scared of uniformity but admire it in the animal kingdom
Because our ideas of freedom are tied to ownership?
Because we wish we could be so selfless?
Where does the letting go start and does it ever end?

I know I am misunderstanding the concepts
but I try

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

pickles and rice

at a big nature place
rainwater big trees
caught in weather

somewhere I'd been

a bathtub located
near the common

watched a sort of

a worried,
glowing face
in the tub

she said
she was nominated
and then forgotten

came to somber
but soft

with rich brain like

Saturday, September 14, 2019


going to sleep
elevated against
wide open window
in cool shape of moonlight

woke up feeling this way

woke up and it's beautiful
a headache
music still
moonlight still

could someone else feel this
this triangular spiral of gratitude 
the room where you walk 
a while to the bed

defining feelings:
cut on pinky

late-night dinner with a friend
getting stoned in another city
the night as a character 
like the bedframe is doing my hair
in a low bun
that's how integrated 
that's how crossfaded

I contemplate the tap water
she says he'll torture me
my skin does
baking soda and 
castor oil
healing clay

in the day I stick my feet out
the same window
into the BLUE sky