Thursday, October 30, 2014

the way

going 80 the whole way
it's really fun and important
80% of the way to the Buddhist temple

I love when all trucks have to stop at the scales

ha ha ha

something so sweet about it

banana hands

Have you ever eaten a banana in the dark?

It's like truth or dare
or the dark cubbies at a children's museum
trying to guess what you've touched

I used to have this feeling
when I got home from school

I didn't know whether to pee
or to drink water first

you goin' in or out?

this is similar to my passion
for the way a suitcase looks
packed and clean
wishing I could wear it all at once
so soft and plentiful
so much potential

it's the friction I think
I don't remember how
to define friction
but I know that
my liquid dilemmas
are as real as
our wardrobes
and our vacation days

I could remember how to define it
if I tried really hard
but I think I am doing it
an alternative justice
I actually just remembered

Hands rubbing together 

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

right quick

Am I with child 
or am I the child?
hair tied up and 
body wrapped up 
in sweaty layers
connecting L to 6 
to Grande 

(all I ever write about)

Grand Central

Do imperfections 
on the skin indicate 
imperfections in the 

buying Wet Wipes to 
use before eating
a bag of beef jerky
and a Snickers 
on the train

all the reds and 
browns on the
packaging of
my 3 items 
and the reds 
and browns 
of our bodies 
when think about 

Wet Wipes kill
99.99% of germs
but can't go near
a virus??

school is for bad kids 
always trying to get away with it 
to steal back my own time
bad for kids

I g2g :(

Field Trip

spy museum

maybe all these footprints are mine

a guy riding his unicycle through a pile of crunchy leaves on the sidewalk
I think to myself
I will live somewhere like this again

is sight seeing in Washington DC the last thing I wanted to do?
does that mean I have already 
done everything else
that I am already done
thinking about it later

peacoats on the playground 

a house with white bricks and a witch
flannel sheets and tootsie rolls?
mainey disney and milk duds?
matching bunk beds and kit-kats?

I never thought I'd see a brown scarf again

watching the woman's hand hold a cigarette 
from behind the big, dirty window
thick like the glasses of a friend
who really can't see
and because they are your friend
you can get close enough
to see just how thick
they really are

what is this feeling?
of morning in a coffee place
with the sun and a song
I don't know
but basically know
is it rare?
or is it me

a sash and rusty scissors
a race-car in the window
a store that gets no business

There are days when I feel like
the crust on my eyes is glowing
and days when I feel like
a fat, inedible pear


a smile
and a yankee hat 

"This is the noisiest bar...
it is a garden beer"

loud voices

I see sunglasses leather jackets
I just braided my hair

"to Baltimore"


ladies with bags telling loud secrets
and looking around making eyes
at me and the lines
everyone ready to board the aircraft
everyone up in arms
flying west 
where the sun is still setting
past the popeyes and the carpet
through the cold, heavy glass 
it's dark
with an orange horizon
bye to fall and to home I didn't go
I don't know 

it's always like you're on the only plane in the sky

no one should do anything strange
even standing instead of sitting
is suspicious

imagining all the little lights below
as one vertical Christmas house

Tuesday, October 14, 2014



I'm slowly and certainly saying
goodbye to my Casita tan
The air is pointed now and it
Makes me want to run for cover
You might be freaked out by the lack
Of seasons in CA but remember
that the season change here is as
Frightening as it is beautiful
A time for dying
Rolling over (play dead)
So it can't get to you
all september till Spring is Halloween
So we can disguise ourselves against evil

Each night here includes a walk
alone up Boulder Trail and back
down it later
The lamps making movie streaks
in the rain mist
Things falling from the trees all around me
and wet vines reaching down to rain the dew
they've collected
Cracking and hissing
There is always a strong smell of something 
foul or chemical in front of one house 
by the top of Boulder Trail
with a sloping lawn leading up to its entry 
and usually a dry cleaning bag hanging 
behind the glass pane of the front door
I can't help but imagine the
bodies in the basement
Maybe explaining the consistency
of the dry cleaning bag in the door


It's true life is all the
running to the calm
And the blue car
The strain of having
To say goodbye to
Your nene and yr wife
so Many times a week
When it's dark outside
Or early in the morning
To do your different
things you have to do

Like tempo rubato
(stolen time, a signature
with no consistency)
Quickquick slow
&Your Birthday again
again again



we made a mermaid movie
in the Hawaiin Hut
I wrapped a sheet around my legs
to show that I was a mermaid
but also to show
that I was wounded
we were thinking
we'd cut to a shot
of our raw salmon steak
which would be the wound
but we forgot
and ate it

I love you so much nene
I love you so much wife
I wanna stay in the herb garden
forever smelling
pizza and gum
between my untainted fingers
jumping out of the car
and into the water
running to where its calm

this bathing suit makes me feel
like a corrector
blue with white polka dots
ruching and pads and
all smiles and using my
arms in stride
like some lady
who only wears
vintage clothes
that fit her body

I want to go to bed
before 10 pm
before 22
wake up 21

nothing is really
before too long
its just going
like running
to the calm
in a one piece
and then jumping
back in
the blue car
you came from

Friday, October 10, 2014

Nuts 4 NUTS

I can never see at night on
Madison Avenue
I'm led by the clouds of NUTS
4 NUTS smoke
Sweet and charred like an
Old car
The warmth from the grates
I am always nauseous in Midtown
And I love it
It's always winter there
There's always at least one man
In a fleece vest and stiff
Pants smoking a cigarette
Too fast
His silver glasses and
Cell phone stuck to his face
It's always black outside
With the starry
I never remember which
Way is north either

Thursday, October 9, 2014

never dry or sry

I love a fence with fake grapes made of brass
I love an orange cat with messy fur
I love a secret garden gate and a freshly seeded lawn
I love a mansion in the sun on its knoll
I love a gold mirror in a redwood hallway
I love a boy with purple lips

health cake

so much can go wrong
I don't want to touch anything
I will never pick my nose again
I can still say I don't want to die
it is still dark in my mind
it is still alive
I am still scared of midnight

The Witching Hour Revival
an eclipse, if you will
Did You Know?
"all eclipses are joined together
like pearls on a necklace"

wow it looks like Miami in here
and you have great ideas
why are you baking a cake?
because you are feeling better?
it's a health cake

but I'm so scared
red moon blood moon full moon
wrong turns in my own town
all the streets turn into dead ends
at midnight
am I going to find something
I don't want to find?
I do want to get out of town
but shouldn't we all be
quarantining ourselves
right about now?
and not licking our fingers

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

crimson & clover

(this one is gonna be bad.......)

Refrain from writing about
how black October night
through the open van windows
cigarettes in our yellow fingers
with embers like sharp orange
birthstones what sounds like
menthol-green Wagner on
the radio and the red heart
on his white arm makes me
so Happy I could cry...

How now I'm the
siamese Cat of a girl
turnt sSweetest pet
in the world

hot patterns

I am forever losing my favorite shoes
black ol combats, black suede platforms, black church shinys
driving my car like a Ouiji board and b fore I know it
shinys on the 405 northbound
what does this all mean???

when something smells so bad
it almost smells good?
that's garbage...

running by the dump
desperately aligning myself
with the shadows of the telephone wires
today there are two fruit stands
instead of one
I imagine this is for the people
chopping the fruit
not eating it
no nature made relief here
beneath these wires
now I'm looking at a bullet hole
in someone's windshield
the chards sparkling in the sun
this produces a cramp in my leg
poets do rely on nature made

Saturday, October 4, 2014

shut up weirdo

Hi you're on the radio:

I have a pet story...
my eagle was killed

no beagle 

When G_d made the world
he took it for a walk like 
a dog

Hi Johnny,
Happy Birthday
you sound congested
you don't sound so good
your sick voice is kinda hot
I had no idea your dad was tall and German
Does he have blonde hair?
I would love to meet your dad one day, Johnny

(201) 209-9368

Tonight's topic is
lies your parents told you
people killing people dying
smh, bye

what do you mean a permanent record?
I was a good girl though
I didn't get bad until now
I wanted to go to a good college

yeah totally
yeah totally

I got caught discovering myself as a man
I got caught in the act
You're gonna go blind doing that!
Can I at least do it until I need glasses?
Apparently I was a pretty ridiculous child…
Sorry I didn't call last week ladies

Hi you're on the radio:

Oh come on
Hey what's up
stop making that face
or it's gonna stay that way
I'm drunk
I had one of those puppies
I drank it in like a second

Have a good one

we have no calls

lies your parents told you

(201) 209-9368

Friday, October 3, 2014

For October

stealing internet from our neighbors
is theirs slow too
ours is
the ebola virus has
reached US soil
in Texas of all places
no one thought much of his
fever post Africa
plates with Grace
Japanese style
radish rows
up late
red wine
box spring
hot fall

Oh, October!
sweating and
looking at
at the store
still carve ya
still paint ya
but but

what song will I listen to at this red light?
scanning the radio
it's all about what the world seemed like
when you first heard that song
how big it seemed 
how the way you think
makes you friends
but no one thinks like you
all these people on the radio
with their voices about
a certain topic
no one thinks like us
I just don't get it
"people killing people dying
…where is the love?"
I learned the dance to this song
and I still don't get what
my dance teacher was thinking

up late with my crafts is 
a moment to reassure me
that I am not sick
that nothing could ever be wrong with my body
I poke my bellybutton with a needle
I have three pokes left over
a poke in my elbow
awaiting no call
fingers crossed y'all 

Thursday, October 2, 2014


learning again how to notate 
music, count out the value 
of notes to a measure 
makes me feel suddenly 
like in elementary school 
when we practiced Edelweiss 
on the church side of the school 
the so haunted side

the bathroom was dark wood,
quiet and cold
once someone wrote 


on the wall in there
and we all had to write 


so they could compare the

laisse-moi devenir
l'ombre de ton ombre
l'ombre de ton main
l'ombre de ton chien...

shadow of your 
shadow!! shadow 
of your hand!!!
shadow of your