Friday, December 20, 2013

wading

Noting the resolution of the prince, the gods suddenly cast a spell on the young women, leaving them in distorted postures and shocking poses. One lay leaning against the side of a window, her slender body bent like a bow, her beautiful necklace dangling. Another, with loose and disorderly hair, lay like the figure of a woman trampled by an elephant. Her ornaments and garments having slipped from her back, her necklace scattered. And another, of great natural beauty and poise, was shamelessly exposed in an immodest position, snoring out loud, with her limbs tossed about. Another, with her ornaments and garlands falling off and garments unfastened, lay unconscious like a corpse, with her eyes fixed and their whites showing. Another with well-developed legs lay as if sprawling in intoxication, exposing what should have been hidden, her mouth gaping wide and slobbering, her gracefulness gone and her body contorted. Seeing this, the prince was disgusted.

Monday, December 16, 2013

dear diary,

******


you are so much smarter than me
you have read so many books
I go to college for Feelings
I am at college
majoring in feelings
quicksand 
the hourglass and 
combos
How to Cash In
and Cop Out

love always,

Sunday, December 15, 2013

**







Sisters at Heart

mystery the way of life
like walking down the street and being a girl
there is nothing to say about it
I can’t tell him about it

There is this other world
where I can go
I walk into it like an acorn shell
in this other world

I drive my car on the beach
it's Alameda beach 
my favorite beach 
and it's ok to park there

I have the means and sureness
to get myself to where I want to be
and we always have the time
to do the things we love

you are the only person I could talk to
and write about what we talked about
then know that you’re reading it
literally the only


Saturday, December 14, 2013

סבתא






my savta, their ema 
sweet betty
his mama
so sad and true
"it is what it is
what are you gonna do"

sweet israel 
dates and honey
my blood as thick 
and consistent 
as their meals

that's his mama though
that's why I'm here and
now shes being suctioned

somewhere

my little family is dying
and I'm right here
home on my back
honey in my blood







I love my parents because they are both beautiful people and let me do whatever I want













wind chime




thinking sex in shapes
curved like the mirror behind us
the headboard
I have seen this before
but not with the waves


*


no one feels it getting cold
we just like to talk about it
what's it like to be winter in dreamland?
to have weird weather in dreamland
its like waking up happy to awake
with your windows still shut
only opened in a dream
so its hot

no distance from the sun
I am psychic about when I get shocked
like the water fountain above the carpet
with the vacuum cleaning blocking 
my drinking position
shocking

about the weird weather
the second floor is a heavy difference
in temperature
like going room to room
heavy differences
in temperature

maybe I am wise
but chest pains why
wine lips, maybe


*


thinking of sex like shapes
my barefeet on some
cool, damp earth
I fantasize of grounding mysef
in the pale light
losing it all in the hills
with wind like skin



Monday, December 9, 2013

it breaks my heart to throw away a seashell






am i gliding?
a softness in going home
going room
to room
is not so


my shin hurts 
when i think about it "cracking"
i hear the whimpering of the dog 
with the jingling of the keys


"give me a jingle"
it's beginning to feel a lot like california
or like christmas
in mexico







every christmas 
even BC*
i knew you would smell like sunshine






lavender soy scent
mrs. its a clean day
from nj to the pj

mr. i can work out with my eyes closed,

and i want to cover
the sunny side of life





but it breaks my heart to throw away a seashell




"his manners were so exquisite 
that they were like a definition of civilization"








Tuesday, December 3, 2013

pill hill































I finally saw Jamie in a dream
 He was standing in front of his
dad’s house, poised to leave,
 leaning against a long shiny
black Cadillac
 The house was like a black
and white wedding cake,
 double-decker, balcony
trimmed with lace and white
 lilies, and those strands of
imitation pearls that can be big
 and tiny. His dad was
Bella Lugosi wedding Dracula
 awkwardly seeing him off in a tux
with tails, everything shining
 joke black and white, against joke
green grass and blue sky
 The whole scene
was a wedding funeral, Jamie
 was waiting for his wife
to come downstairs and
 get in the car


I know you’ve been
 a few places
I know
 you’ve been back
from them

 Those places look
joke black in my mind
 They must feel joke black
sometimes. Like an inky
 cartoon spider web
The most perfect and
 frightening. The dark appeal
of a quill, with the sharp
 point

Getting older is just when
 things start getting realer and
closer to home

And one day
 you never come
back





















but sissy bliss
 there are all kinds
We liked to chew aspirin
 because of the taste

I’m on the airplane again
 chewing aspirin


United Airlines would
 like to congratulate two
of our passengers
 Mr. and Mrs. Brookes
are celebrating their
50th wedding anniversary!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

inside












she yells as me to look at the moon
and I wonder if there is a dog ring



(it will always feel like a church
in my turtle neck)



and I have always been me
even on slime time
or at thanksgiving
or shabbat at st. john's


I wasn't afraid of anything

but there was a pulsing in my ears

plus tension in my elbows



something still creeping about needles

I know what it would take to be good

to be polished and flowing

but somehow knowing is enough

knowing my veins are soft is enough



Monday, November 25, 2013

Half-Dave's



I did once but grew tired of existing

My sweetheart there
was like a strange orange cat
we were both born in summer
and I feel like a spiral
there's no meat in here anymore
is summer ever actually
as orange as autumn 
or yellow as November

I wish I could remember all the things
I was hearing this weekend
sensing in the air
but I kept just nodding off on his chest
knowing it was ok
Carburetor Vivaldi. Kona my brother
my Cheshire cat 
all spiraling and spiraling
out and back out and back
with moments of great hope

I trust you
I don't know what this means
I'm getting you confused
with someone else
who I confused you with
everyone will hate me soon
for my designated role on the first 
season of This is a Family Disease
A sleepy performance 



…what my nilla, Imma shove it back to
  where it don’t snow
….
then what, my nilla? HeH?
    Imma shove it back all the way
back to Thanksgiving… heh??
I think that correctional officer had an evil twin
  I don’t usually find a girl’s tractive
I look and look
 but it is no where to be found



Monday, November 18, 2013

see red


 

I'm tasting blood in my mouth
 O negative and O positive
New York City does

 look like 1970 today

steamed black and wet
 under red string lights
pennies to Heaven
 in the bar’s mirrored ceiling
I’m hungry but drinking
 I’m sorry but sneaking
I shouldn’t be here
 in 1970
no one should be here
 my sissy so soft
burning it down
 trickle of deep trees
black redwoods
 red red woods
but black

 thank God you went home
I know our blue angel
 was seeing red too
right before he died

we’re all looking for that
 that True Black Meat
sometimes it is
 just truly tasteless

This message contains information that may be confidential and/or privileged






















Thursday, November 14, 2013

post spa frags



there is something to love about the snow this morning
how it sticks to the trees but not the street
how it is the most exciting thing 
since november began







someone here makes the bathroom and the kitchen
smell the same







"You're beautiful at this, Quin!"
(Wii)








what do i respect?
a vest that matches my socks

2 dollars for the coconut-water-solo-stroll
through cobble hill at midnight
like cinderelly dressed to kill
like a rat on a train
amongst many men
so she wears turtle necks
and boxing brands
but orange socks

ankles are OK
after midnight









devil water tower
like maple shade
some troubled waters
bubble towers

what if i washed my sheets in there
yum
aqua clean

i go through phases when
washing my sheets
is very important to me








it is like what i am trying to say
is coating the archway to a room
coating the ceiling and tops of the walls
what i am thinking in my dreams
coats that archway



pre spa





















how come i keep on thinking about montreal
while i write about the studiolo
about what is real and
what is numerically proportionate
and how the very special wood inlay
techniques create light and shadow
but then what about the real light
natural light
through the natural windows?
what is more real:
the darkness of the wood
or the direction of the grain
or the naturally real windows
inside


maybe because montreal is old
and i feel older now that it is 
october again 
and the nights are getting windy
and pumpkins are around
montreal is not like israel 

el al

and the studiolo is extremely 
the oldest
jeruselem too
and my grandma too
but the studiolo