jakesdevs11

it’s the first rain of the season

when I find out that

my first boyfriend has died

I was standing over my sewing table

with a dark pit spreading in me

seeking its link to reality

and the click is obvious

my car broke down on the way here

that’s the darkness

I even see the lights go down on the

image of that moment

and although it started back up

it was too late, the pit had hatched

plus it was about to rain

I was standing over my sewing table

figuring out how to attach a cloth head

to a cloth body

Alice texted me, I wanted you to know

about Jake Goldberg

no one ever wants you to know

something good

about someone you haven’t spoken to in years

at least not in the middle of the day

we spent afternoons after school

at Jake’s house on Elston road,

eventually these names

Elston and Jake, morphed into one notion

of where I could find him

or at least imagine him being

we got cell phones at the same time

and texted all night

with just a mile and a half of quiet town between us

the first time we kissed was my first kiss

the creepy games of our age

had begun and

we were in a boiler room

it was freezing

everyone in makeup

shrieking

“we were all nightmares”

Ethan says

the demons

the dark AIMS

I would print them out

jakesdevs11

signed off

a basement boy in

basketball shorts

playing the same games

now the rain is hard and
I’m looking for a candle to light

just a little something,

Mary says

it’s times like these

it’d be nice to think
he’s remembering that kiss in heaven