texting about clay pigeons
pigeons that weren't shot
feeling sick/seen
trying to access something
something older and heavier
how to explain
when the smallest amount of air on body in clothes
and sunlight and a flavor on the breeze remind you
of a feeling you felt once months ago and you don't
have time to access fully now?
a way of body being in clothes
new blemishes blooming on face
dreams of the stress variety
patience
how to write a song about faith, or from my known faith in simplicity and a rule of goodness
inherent, implicit, God-ness
folded like a question
another pair of black leather shoes that are close but not quite it
another day that is close but not quite warm
meyer lemon vapor ice. Type 1 and Type 2 fun.
You can actually relinquish some amount of expectation because the world doesn't owe you inspiration. You are the world.
The construction workers have built themselves a sun shelter picnic table and a grill is always there, is it chained to the fence like a dog?
the buildings are taking shape around me and less offensive than anticipated to look at. I don't want to write from a place of discontent or expectation of what is owed me because nothing is owed me, and I'm not discontent
merely alienated, from time to time
hold the image in mind, in pocket
of sunsoaked romance
I will shower, or maybe fill my tank with gas
I want to dress well, like myself, and I want to be fun, like myself
my favorite days all year have been
found something basically edible in my filing cabinet
last night a lot of teeth falling out in my dreams
admitting the things she writes in her notebook have nothing to do with realism and everything to do with compulsion and how it felt to be her as approximated by the images captured
the common denominator is always me, myself
or words to that effect
waking up earlier just means more time to get more ready for work
am I still just into the bejeweled mysterious? The Bejeweled Mysterious
still uncomfortable with benderism
me and the construction workers in the parking lot
terrible dream of a whole middle school locked up with kids inside who couldn't get out couldn't get in but I could see mold growing on every surface it growing over in the humidity
then I was woken and fucked
to drink or not? should eat lots of water
I want to sing my soul, the good and deep parts
write for real, talk to my soul and the world
if you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my _______
hunched over like a monday (monkey?)
trees are proud of their fruit
seashells, silver items, leather goods, what?
ask it as a question instead of saying it as a thin ice
diprima says men tossed up on my beaches
