top dog

to compulsive mastication of rectangles,
to constitution of two halves harmful,

away away away away !

b lucid

I am joining the french army!

or doing something else,

to be uncomfortable for a summer

His hair and body became dirty and long

and it probably meaning bad after his

time in his small cell.

THE EMPRESS

(The Empress)

GET WELL AT THE CONGRESS HOTEL

GET WELL AT THE CONGRESS HOTEL

GET WELL AT THE CONGRESS HOTEL

crawling to be dirt on hot earth

flying to be dust in hot air

to be whores homes horses chores 

and playing plain games

d.m.d.m.d

buffalo wings and a half house 
the beginning of the second half of knowing you 
dinner from the freezer in the room where i screamed at little brother
you were gone and he was really little and i have never been more sorry for anything else
the beginning of this second half of knowing you i was learning how to be angry
little brother was hugging his knees to his chest in the far corner diagonal the freezer
little brother was wet in the face and i was too but he was silent and i knew it was wrong
i was distracting myself with my heart beat and the 2 in 1 washer-dryer 
every room in the half house was a multi-purpose


match.com had been left on the screen dimming the next room with a steady artificial glow
the middle room with the file cabinets and dining table and the armoire 
the only decoration was an art.com painting and a clipping from the new yorker
the clipping was a sketch of a man from behind sitting on some front steps 
you probably thought it looked like you because it kind of did  
and those small italicized words beneath the man expectant and illegible from a distance
said something very anti-climactic like "starting over" and those words and that sketch
always made me angry and that clipping very well may have been the reason 
I cornered little brother and I have never been more sorry for anything else


match.com kept glowing and you were gone and you were busted


i had a metal bunk bed in my closet-sized room so my friends could still sleep over
i had a metal bunk bed and i remember very well the smell of that room like fresh ikea
that never grew up forever temporary and waxy wooden floors with waves that made things roll 
chunky drips of white paint and a brand new area rug that was really a welcome mat with tape on the bottom 
my entire room was my bed
I had two squiggly-cut full length mirrors that were always balancing on the wooden waves and they fit
right into one another and i thought that was the greatest thing reflecting all of my book fair posters
giving me four more fake feet
i had a metal bunk bed so my friends could still sleep over and your room was right next to mine 
and our walls were very thin because sometimes i could hear you snore and all the time 
i could smell the smoke from the family of six who lived in the other half of the house


one night my friend was sleeping over and we were learning how to get angry and get satisfied and
one time at her house i punched her in the head and it might have been because of that clipping but
when she was at my house we were on the bottom half of my bed together and i had these stars
blue plastic half stars the size of match.com 
they were mounted over little light bulbs with sticky velcro
in the hallowed plastic star shells were small round holes and when the big light was off in my closet-room 
there were small round lights all on the walls and i was proud of those stars


i remember concentrating hard on my heart facing the door that never quite shut
concentrating hard on my breathing my friend put my hand in her shirt and she was bossy and i was proud and 
you were snoring and the mob was smoking
i remember both us of being bossy at once and i was still concentrating on my heart 
she felt the beat get fast and she put my hand in her pants and the room got darker and the stars got brighter and 
I thought about the well in my backyard and the house at the dead end with the cameras and the intercom and the stone lions and the fact that the dead end sign was balancing like my mirrors on the gate to the cemetery I thought about buffalo wings and pop-tarts and match.com alone in the middle room and the leather couch that stuck out and your sweat pants and wrinkles and curly shoe laces and piles of papers and piles of cookbooks and piles of bikes all doing justice to the multi-purpose function of the room i only walked through in my cleats to the freezer to the 2 in 1 washer-dryer between games and I thought about the white-haired men and the middle ages and florida and sheba and then the size of my room made me angry and I got scared of my friend and made her climb the ladder and I kept smelling smoke 


like the snores kept steady

violetettes

when i said i was thinking about that night

i really meant i was feeling about that night

feeling how it was a boat on that bed

after kissing in the crow’s nest

and spitting up seawater overboard

flat on our backs and filled with salt

spouting drunk as bottlenosed dolphins

how now i can’t stop feeling about water     

and you??? you’re water and gold

i’m rereading omens and rewriting omens

did you get dressed up for a Sleaze Ball in

your parallel place? did you fall in love

with everyone older bigger bolder and on

mdma am i dreaming dreamed dreamed

i met your padre who kissed my burnt hand

i thought it was you grown old and i worried

and squirmed but i had fallen asleep feeling

your gold is 
so good

to be a girl is

this important?

do you know how it is walking by the road where

the cars pass you being swallowed by ivy around

your ankles being small dying to yowl a something

that makes the most sense to sing imagining more

mystery than there is under the bridge at the river

imagining more mystery or is it just enough with a  

beautiful beer can winking at you on the river bank

and a young hispanic couple getting their exercise

together in the distance no one can see you now

singing to yourself and being small with river sand

soberly under your sneakers empty handed

blues past

fat phantoms wading

in the pool at night 

exorcise them all

phantoms floating 

plastic clams heavy

the shells fried empty

delivered by the phantoms

sun stuck in water

the pool at night is tired

poetry is dead

http://watermcbeer.org/news.html

in the future

here on these water skis

tentative as a decorticated cat

just picture turquoise water

palm trees of course

and anything else you like

do i like water??

knowing so little

about how to go in

this condition but just

a rolling in the waves

any waves

seems you do

know some about

water skiing mm

wanner teach me?

decorticated cats

climb out the basement

saying-

ITS ALL RECTANGLES

STILL ALL RECTANGLES

WOOPS ALL SQUARES AND RECTANGLES

WAKE UP THERE ARE FLOWERS IN YOUR COFFEE

THAT YOU’VE HAD IN IT ALL ALONG

I WANT TO SMELL THEM

AND I’M GOING TO PULL IT OFF

AND I KNOW WE TALKED ABOUT IT

AND YOU SAID YOU DID

BUT I NEED TO KNOW

AND I BUT I AND

BUT AND BUT I FEEL

FEEL BUT DID AND DID

WANT TO DID THERE BUT

DID AND BUT I WANT

YOU SO SMALL SO FAR

ME SO YOUNG SO NEW

LIGHTS STRUNG UP AROUND THE BAR

AROUND THE STREETS

AROUND THE LAKE

AROUND YOUR HEAD

NOW THAT I AM OUT OF DOORS

WIND BLOWING AROUND THE STREETS

BLEW ME OVER HERE

GOT ME DUSTY FUR

SCABBY EARS

WANTING TO HEAR YOU

ANY WAVES

LEARNING WELL

TO ECHOLOCATE

LEARNING WELL TO CARRY 

SWEETS IN MY POCKETS

bet midrash II

the prince of egypt goes to nova scotia
and eats a bagel inspired salad
he kisses kitties in his angel pants
bad b- i mean bad girl he said
he was in nova scotia
where the fish are pink
and the princesses have peas
the prince of egypt goes to his friend's house
and eats pickled sugar cubes
he kisses gin bottles and cobwebs
bad boys run girls
he was in a dust storm
where the economy cries
and eyeballs fall out
the prince of egypt goes to the market
and eats nothing but his words
he licks the vender inspired assholes
it is hard to be a bad girl
he was standing on some melons
where storm dust turned pink
and the first born rose gray
the prince of egypt comes to america

_-_O_-_

please don't barf on me 

MAD water and you

SOMETHING FOR D:**

BECAUSE WHY NOT

OR NOT WHY

AN ODE TO A NEW NOW

FOREVER TRIPPING OVER JOY

IN THE BASEMENT IN THE GARDEN STATE

LIKE THE SAINTS ALL LAUGHING

EVERYONE IS LEAVING ME ALONE SIDES ME

SO I'M SLEEPING ABOUT IT

TIL FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH

SLEPT ON FORGETTING MANY

DREAMS AND SQUARES BUT

ITS OK RIGHT

FRI13

god knows y

a one morning standing

around in line with the red

and gold old ladies in waiting

for the meal plan b cos

semi-permeable membranes
forever and closing my eyes

seeing something

confusing

very simple

florid dolphinian jesus

essentially the last unicorn

feeding me dream fluff in

the dry dead sea bed

world war three

feet above my head

touching a crucifix on the wall

paper flake brown corpse

momio walking out of guanajuato

dead serious a bonesboy getting up

and walking away salty

morning air of dried chinese liquids

red rose thank you of orange pink plastic

every where

and "TOAD, TOAD"

where is my pet?

under the bed

in memory of lula haze

seeds roll in wind

towards trouble

sometimes towards a good thing

sometimes seeds wrap up in a corn husk

and look out through glass eyes

watching a parking violation

glass eyes look out of a corn husk

watching broad peach flesh and

homosexual sweetness

thinking about the fictional game of

tennis – remembering how it went with

our short white clothes and flushed faces

hours of numb child bridal

with no volition

rolling around sweaty and bored

confused confused

nobody knows where you are

and they want you home

i was never in love

just corn husk trouble

florid

woke up at 6:15 scared for my life

cos i was going home and i couldn’t

remember if anyone loved me there

woozboy in the telepathic desert –

many mirages of telepathic deserters

the woman next to me applied

purple lipstick holding it with both

hands like a rat her grown son slept

in the crook of her arm

i saw time standing still on a river bank

a lonely power plant with frozen clouds

solid white attached to the smokestack

it really wasn’t moving or i couldn’t see

i’m watching wax face leaning

over wax face yellow wax face

kissing flaccid death mask

crying tears with an oily sheen

sheen that looks like bird shit

crying bird shit tears down

his big yellow nose into

her mouth          i’m

reading your lips i think

they say “come back” ???

its perfect that you live in this doorway

cos its right outside our doorway

we can come get you so easily

i have to whittle myself into a seed

to fit in this house

all you women who were big with

hairdos are my mother

i feel you snarling in san fransisco

crying like the most frightening thing

because she’s allergic to crying

her throat starts to close and

she chokes on her words the

tendons in her neck jut red

she sounds like a bleating lamb

or a deer with an arrow through its lung

she is small and frightened

with a mother and stunted growth

brethren i have a highly potent

and selective memory

yes i remember playing dead

they can't school you
if you're already dead

In the half sleep I try to
remember the words I
want people to see and
the story of the blind garden monitor
who tries to forget all
the words he wants no one to see
*big blue big and blue*
I'm saying
it makes me feel it makes me feel

(I am always at coney island there is always sand in my heart)

and I've been knowing about Ladies
Lib and Mary Poppins and
she’s all stick with me and
I'm all
it makes me feel

hot and slow brown ground
the desert square I'm knowing about
a tall stack of tires between each
a bag of big sand like
the princess and the pea
over and over
and over

and I'm saying
it makes me feel
as if the tire stack is moving but
I'm on this level with mirage and
she’s been kind so I asked for
something
light

and a square with brown ground
and the squirmy thick hot that
everyone knows about that clouds
a square with what you think of
when you think of a summer bbq
and meat and lines

(plus your dream about coney island turning into the desert)

and me and the blind garden monitor
make all the wrong decisions kiss
all the marble people’s parted lips
pupil-less people with tilted necks
and we kiss them until closing and
the busts become phantoms trans
generational ones it is a thing
I’ve been knowing about and I’m
all over and over all forgetting
the words I want no one to see
like presentable

body party

KNOT THROAT KEEP SAYING "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU"
KNOT THROAT EVERYONE PRANKING ME 
BAG OVER MY HEAD IN THE EATERY
KEEP CALLING MY BIG SIS KELLY KEEP KISSING MY BIG SIS KELLY HEY I ONLY INTRODUCED YOU FOR FUN
THE HOUSE IS EMPTY WITH BUTTER EXTERIOR YOUR ORANGE SELF IS CLASHING
THIS ALL WRONG AROUND THE CORNER SYNTHETIC CARPET SO QUIET IN HEAR
THE AIR IS THICK AND YOUR NEW LOU IS MY BIG SISTER KELLY
THEN EVERY ONE WAS FUN SPILLING OFF THE BALCONY COS YOU TOLD THEM TO
I LOOKED AT THE BANANA PLANT AND WENT HOME WHICH WAS ACROSS THE STREET

jase and riley

its the same feeling as crying at the beach
or swimming next to the pool
then its late and you're just closing your eyes
radiating heat

the party the party
the body the body
buoyancy of grey matter

moving left to right connotes success
up down floating - who knows
there is mud below
waiting for you to come down off the airplane
a swat team looking up

elsewhere is not so much pavement
elsewhere the country is big and stays that way