china notes

Radish
Cabbage
Pork
Garlic
Four part 156 chapter gyud shi
Speculouse






Never thinking never thinking
Hairdo with bows in it






HOME
Send Peipei meiguo dongxi





Wang Laoshi, ni hao. I'm so 
sorry to bother you on your weekend 
with bad news. I wanted to discuss 
options with you as I am extremely 
worried about my DISP project 
and paper. I have 8 pages of writing 
thus far but it is not very substantial 
and I'm worried I simply don't have 
enough material to meet the 
requirements of the DISP. I'm 
wondering if there is any way I can 
make up credit on the rural stay or 
some other way. Further my 
computer charger has broken 
and I'm going insane.





The blind flower selling girl in the Chaplin movie

Someone is listening to shanghai lounge 
divas in their headphones with the TV 
playing and everyone else's sound leaks 
who knows what is going on who knows 
where I am I feel relieved I love trains

Thinking of the ballroom scene in the shining 
when he's at the bar and the music in the background

Video of pandas on the TV like how do you 
even exist you make me sad laying 
on your backs like that all the time

Attendants on the train so sad and bored 
bing xi ling maaa bing xi ling maa trailing off 
down the train wah wah wah 
like the angry attendant at the hostel

This is one of many sunsets in a train window I will experience
There is no reason it can't be related to the others I've known before

I can be whatever I want I believe that now

There is more summer there is more vacation there is more 
youth and better skin to come and better air and better sleep

I can always be a better person and no one is holding me to very much

There will always be another train and another window to look out of
Another hillside to scramble up and another man
This is one of many moments to come...





Farmers that get rich by 
starting a small factory operation, 
making shoelaces on the side
able to build crazy houses with 
all the weird accents like space spires 
cobbler and the thief style tall windows 
reflecting blue to the outside

Sink or swim

Peipeis parents came with her to get me, 
as awkward and nervous as I at first
Peipeis whines like a little kid around her parents
The house smelled so nice reminded 
me of my mom with her routines of cleaning 
and cooking and exercise
Vague sandalwood smell
TV and marble tile and big 
wooden chairs and tables
The wok thing in the kitchen
The bed perfectly straight 
with blanket folded atop it purple floral 
soft pillow yellow bed spread 
everything big comfortable
Eat fruit please chi ba chi ba

Shanghai is so wet and windy 
I swear that Chinese man 
looks like William s boroughs
Playing it up in a grey suit and mustache
With his Da western bizi
Fruit shops and mysterious alleys
Tiny two story restaurants always 
the white cat running around

T shirt that says
Be inconspicolous
Eyes eyes dreamy eyes
The plastic arts
Ideas
Narrow




I don't want to buy a notebook that I hate
I don't want to buy a notebook that I hate
Prove myself to me
I don't need to buy that
Prove myself to me
I can really truly say anything to you
that is free
I can really truly say anything to you
That is freedom that is free
This is why I don't deserve nice things
This is why I don't deserve nice things

If I can't be good I can be mean
If I can't be mean I can be me 
if i cant be me i can be mediocre 
if I can't be I can be nice





Return of the rat
Return of trusting myself
Don't focus on it
I've been doing ok I've really been doing ok

What else does a girl do but 
look at pandas and buy dong xi

Follow your dreams
It doesn't matter what you do as long as you do it well

God put me on earth to accomplish certain things
I'm so far behind I'll never die

Humans have two things: 
happiness and love
be happy and show love 
and all will come back to you

梦梦梦美梦

Be happy and show love
Come and go to everything


The things that are totally 
acceptable to other people 
are confusing and all new 
to me





Plan-B One Step (levonorgestrel .75)

Next Choice
Ella

Levonorgestrel
毓婷
Yu4ting2

Yuzpe regime: two .25 mg 
levonorgestrel tablets, one 
.05 mg ethinyl estradiol
玫瑰玫瑰






The simplest words make the 
prettiest songs. The other day 
PeiPei came home with a 
Chinese edition of the Wizard
of Oz stories. I was sitting 
at the table in our suite painting. 
The electricity hums all the time, 
like God's phone on vibrate. 
The cream-colored faux marble 
floor is good at reflecting. 
Dear PeiPei happily holding 
up the book to me. My mother 
read us all of the Oz books. 
Her coffee honey voice. 
Clearing her throat, licking her 
thumb to turn the page. 
There's a chill under my clothes 
and never has the past been 
more appealing. I want nothing 
but to go back to those 
blankets and pillows.